Marc Hates This B-Side (Fanboy)

Lyrics

I appreciate you listening, more than you'll ever know And thank you for taking the time to come out to the shows But I've got things to do like any 33 year old And I can't always be at your beckon call when I'm at home No, fanboy, you can't have my number No offense, but that's a little creepy No, fangirl, you can't have my screenname IMs just make me cranky "Hey, Marc, how old's your daughter now?" "Who were you thinking of when you wrote Nerdy Girls?" "Is there gonna be a Hey Rape Girl part 2?" "Is your name an Empire Records reference?" "Hey there Marc with a C, my name's Stacy with an X And I bet you've never heard that before; can we be friends?" Well, no, fanboy, you can't have my number No offense, but that's a little creepy No, fangirl, you can't have my screenname IMs just make me cranky No, fanboy, you can't have my T-shirt No offense, I need this towel No, fangirl, I can't sign your Underwire bra Not only big rich rock stars and weird obsessive fans Now most of you are very nice, but some of you just freak me the fuck out You carved a pumpkin from [?] featuring my sillhouette In the middle of the night, you came to my house and left it in my yard You memorized my B-sides, like the girl in She Loves The B-Sides While I appreciate that reference, I don't really have any B-sides Well, no, fanboy, you can't have my B-sides No offense, I don't really have any B-sides No, fangirl, if I did have some B-sides You could have them for free! But no, fanboy, you can't have my number No offense, but that's a little creepy No, fangirl, you can't have my screenname IMs just make me cranky No, fanboy, you can't have my T-shirt No offense, I'm wearing this tie! No, fangirl, I can't sign your Underwire bra But I'm just kidding, I really like you It's all in fun, I couldn't do this without you I'm just kidding, sometimes some of you kind of freak me out