Lyrics

[Instrumental] "Captain Spaulding here, yes I'm here to tell you about our brand new attraction: Mary. That's right, this here little beauty is half real human, half monkey I brought all the way from the wilds of Borneo. So you can all come in, make sure you bring little Johnny and Suzie with ya, you'll scare the holy guacamole out of them, haha. And remember while you're down here, pick up your Captain Spaulding For President t-shirt."