Fake ID

Lyrics

[Intro] Ladies and gentleman, my name is Macklemore. This is my music, and it feels so damn good right about now. Check it, I got a story, yo, it goes a little something like [Verse 1] When I was seventeen I was staying in NYC And my homie told me where I could get a fake ID "Ayo, son, you better get that shit when you in NY" (okay) So I hopped on the subway and I gave it a try To my pleasant surprise the ID looked fine 5'9", blues eyes, born in nineteen-seventy-nine (just right) Nervous as hell, I went to the store with my homie Came out and yelled "Dawg, they sold me a 40" Yeah, you know that I was the man Buying liquid contraband with a fake ass hologram No more looking for bums, standing in the rain Stranded on Broadway and giving 'em all my change For the rest of the summer man I was on fades Seventeen, had it made, getting drunk everyday Ayy, I got treated a whole new way Because of a piece of plastic that proved I was of age [Interlude] You know what I'm saying, all of a sudden you get this little piece of plastic and you're in the club. Seventeen like bah! Check it out, it's like this, yo [Verse 2] Now for the next three years I had so much fun Getting drunk in hip-hop clubs where you had to be twenty-one Then one day I was walking and I saw a sign That said KRS-One twenty-one up and live That's hella tight Ayo I heard he always ripped it So I hopped up in my Civic and went out to buy a ticket When I got up the the door the bouncer checking ID's Looks at mine and he's like "Nah, we don't take these" I tried to reach and grab my shit back But the mother fucker was tougher than Shaq, on crack I should've punched him, but I would have reached his knee cap And that probably wouldn't have hurt him very much He kept laughing and smilin', he called me a dumb shit And if I would've let myself I would have cried in public Oh no, I'm like "Give it back, bro!" But no, my ID was jacked by the Caucasian Deebo [Bridge] Ha I'm laughing right now but at the time it really was not funny and it's still not very funny. Fucker [Verse 3] Bitch why you got to take my ID? Why do I have to be 21 to drink a Long Island Iced Tea? I hate bouncers with their bald heads and ten foot tall legs And shirts that they outgrew when they were like ten *Get 'em* Your mother is dumb for having you You're a bouncer because you have a small dick and as a kid everyone laughed at you *Get 'em* You're too big and you never seemed to listen You look injected with the shit they give to KFC chickens *Get 'em* I don't like ya, at all I despise you If I was tall I would fight you If I was a dog I would bite you Every single day you make people cry And your job is to go and ruin teenager's lives Ok I'm going too far bouncers aren't all bad I'm sure they make great husbands and really strong dads But hopefully you learned a lesson from me Never take an MC's fake ID Yup, I said never take an MC's fake ID You could be buff and tough, it don't matter to me Cause you're going to get burned if you step to MCs