Twirler Girl

Lyrics

[KYLE, spoken] You think a twirler girl would actually go out with you? [STEWART, spoken] That would destroy the whole natural order of things.  [ELLIOTT] "Hello, Elliott." she said I think she finally noticed me! [SPITZ, spoken] It's only been ten years! [ELLIOTT] Those are the first words she said Since we were in soph'more chemistry When she said: [NICOLE] "Pass the pipette, please. Thanks!" KYLE, STEWART, SPITZ & ALVIN laugh.  [ELLIOTT] But I think she's noticed that I'm not the same And this time she even used my name [KYLE, spoken] Well, stranger things have happеned.  [SPITZ, spoken] Yeah, Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.  [ELLIOTT] Bright white tеnnis shoes, a smile that cures any blues [SPITZ] She makes your flag unfurl [KYLE] But do you really have a prayer? [STEWARD] You're just a tuba player [ALVIN] And she's a twirler girl [KYLE, STEWART, SPITZ & ALVIN] She's a twirler girl [KYLE, spoken] Besides, isn't she, like, engaged to that jerk from the swim team? [ALVIN, spoken] No! He dumped her last week. Right in the middle of her shift at the Chick-Fil-A.  [SPITZ, spoken] Brutal! [ELLIOTT, spoken] Maybe if her best friend put in a good word? On my behalf? [SPITZ] Nicole likes guys who are tall Who act real macho and in command [ELLIOTT] That's true, but still after all I'm captain of the school marching band [SPITZ] I mean, I think she likes athletes, dude [ELLIOTT] But I've been working out on the elliptical My weight is down, can't you see? And now I'm thinking that the feeling's reciprocal By the way that she looked at me Fifteen pounds lighter, maybe I could invite her out For a chocolate strawberry swirl She could drink it while I eat a salad with a side of pita [KYLE, STEWART, SPITZ & ALVIN] She'd be your twirler girl! [ELLIOTT] She'd be my twirler girl! [SPITZ, spoken] There's no way you've got a shot with her, home slice! [ELLIOTT, spoken] You guys are just jealous. She's totally into me.  [STEWART, spoken] Yeah, right, and Sousa wrote waltzes! [ELLIOTT] And Nicole is prettier than my brother's girlfriend The "Miss Cuyahoga Falls" winner And my whole family would look at me differently If I brought her home to have dinner My dad would put down his golf magazine And my mom would stop watching T.V.  And they'd see that I was someone For once I'd be someone Not just my weatherman brother, but me Then she'd come up to my room, and we'd sit on my floor Reading rare-back issues of the Fantastic Four Then we'd watch all three Star Wars movies in succession And I'd crack her up with my Chewbacca impression ELLIOTT does a wookie roar And we'll play two-player on my Nintendo System And I'll play my compositions How could she resist 'em? 'Cause secretly, she'll say, "I love all that stuff," Just like me, a music lover and a sci-fi buff And finally she'll see that I'm good enough I'd be good enough! And we'll ride to school in my brother's Chevy Malibu The former swine and his pearl And all the jocks'll turn around to get a better view of Me and my twirler- Finally I'll walk the halls without any cat calls No, they'll have no insults to hurl Oh, I can't wait to see the way that they look at me Me and my twirler girl My twirler girl!