Threes, Rev 1.1

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Deep in engineering, down where mortals seldom go A manager and customer come looking for a show They pass amused among us as they sign up on the log They've come to see our pony and they've come to see our dog Three things to be wary of: A new kid in his prime A man with all the answers And a code that runs first time [Verse 2] Summoned from our cubicles, to conference room we go We bring our dog and pony, cause we know they want a show Watching as we enter with a shifty, restless eye The customеr sits waiting in his pinstriped suit and tie Three things nevеr trust in: That's the vendor's final bill The promises your boss makes And the customer's good will [Verse 3] The pony kicks his heels up as the doggie does his trick And hands are waved with vigor as we lay it on real thick The customer just watches, as we do this song and dance Then reaches for his briefcase, only giving us a glance Three things see no end: A loop with exit code gone wrong A semaphore untested And the change that comes along [Verse 4] From briefcase then there comes a list of things we must revise And all but four within the room were taken by surprise And all but four are thinking of their last job with remorse The customer, the manager, the doggie, and the horse Three things hold no secret: Files that somehow hit the net Your boss's secretary And the third thing... I forget [Verse 5] First: twenty-one new features that we somehow we must add in Then thirty-seven changes show up, much to our chagrin And this thing's just inadequate! And that one's just plain wrong And by the way, your schedule is about three months too long Three things it is better far that Only you should know: How much you're paid, the schedule-pad And what is just for show [Verse 6] The customer proceeds to go through each change line-by-line Excruciating detail which no logic can divine And when it ends there's only four not sitting there agog The customer, the manager, the pony and the dog Three things never anger: First the one who runs your deck The one who does the back-up And the one who signs the check [Verse 7] Now we are contract software types, who spend our days and nights Embedded in the system down with all the bits and bytes And none but us can tell full well the damage done today It's what they do not know, for which they're gonna have to pay Three things are most perilous: Connectors that corrode Unproven algorithms And self-modifying code [Verse 8] The manager and customer are quick to leave this bunch They take the dog and pony and they all go out to lunch Now how will we revenge ourselves on those who raise our ire? Write code that self destructs the day the warranty's expired! Three things trust above all else: Your knowledge of your craft That someone makes a profit And that you will get the shaft