The Undertaker’s Horse

Lyrics

[Intro] The eldest son bestrides him And the pretty daughter rides him And I often meet him mornings on the Course; And there kindles in my bosom An emotion chill and gruesome As I canter past the Undertaker's Horse [Verse 1] Neither shies he nor is restive But a hideously suggestive Trot, professional and placid, he affects; And the cadence of his hoof-beats To my mind this grim reproof beats: "Mend your pacе, my friend. I'm coming. Who's the next?" [Verse 2] Ah! Stud-brеd of ill-omen I've watched the strongest go—men Of pith and might and muscle—at your heels Down the plantain-bordered highway (Heaven send it never be my way!) In a lacquered box of jet upon dark wheels [Verse 3] Answer, somber beast and dreary Where is Brown, the young and cheery? Smith, the pride of all his friends and half the Force? You were at that last dread stalk We must cover at a walk Bring them back to me, O Undertaker's Horse! [Verse 4] With your mane unhogged and flowing And your curious way of going And that businesslike black crimping of your tail Even with Beauty on your back, Sir Pacing as a lady's hack, Sir What wonder when I see you I turn pale? [Verse 5] It may be you wait your time, Beast Till I write my last bad rhyme, Beast— Quit the sunlight, cut the rhyming, drop the glass— Follow after with the others Where some dusky heathen smothers Us with marigolds in place of English grass [Verse 6] Or, perchance, in years to follow I will watch your plump sides hollow See Carnifex (gone lame) become a corpse— See old age at last o'erpower you And the station pack devour you I'll chuckle then, O Undertaker's Horse! [Outro] But to insult, jibe, and jest I've Still the hideously suggestive Trot that hammers out the unrelenting text And I hear it hard behind me In whatever place I find me: "Sure to catch you soon or later. Who's the next?"