The End of the Raven (”by Edgar Allen Poe’s Cat”)

Lyrics

[Spoken] This is called "The End of the Raven", by Edgar Allen Poe's cat [Verse 1] On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door [Verse 2] "Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor "There is nothing I like more" [Verse 3] Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore [Verse 4] While the bard and birdie chattered, I made sure that nothing clattered Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor; For Poe's house is crammed with trinkets, curios and weird decor — Bric-a-brac and junk galore [Verse 5] Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents' worth — "Nevermore." While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up Then I crouched and quickly leapt up, pouncing on the feathered bore Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore— Only this and not much more [Verse 6] "Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out, "Pussycat, it's time I dried out! Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before How I've wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty Put an end to that damned ditty" — then I heard him start to snore Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor Jumped — and smashed it on the floor