Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a picture of intense regret and self-recrimination, focusing on past actions and missed opportunities. The opening lines immediately establish a tone of internal rumination, with the narrator replaying "fishing in my head" for "things I could've done." This internal dialogue is tinged with a dark, almost violent undercurrent, questioning a potential act with "a loaded gun" while simultaneously feeling betrayed by someone "pissing on my setting sun." The central tension lies in the narrator's fractured state and their deliberate exclusion of a specific person from their inner world. The repeated conditional phrases "If my hands broken, it's broken in two / If my minds open, it's not open to you" highlight a deliberate choice to remain closed off, even as parts of themselves are in disarray. The imagery of a "head soaking in brew" suggests a coping mechanism, an attempt to numb the pain or escape the overwhelming thoughts. The most striking craft element is the stark contrast between the narrator's internal chaos and their externalized, almost defiant, refusal of connection. The line "Things I wish I'd never done was not using that gun" is a particularly sharp twist, reframing a potential violent act as something now regretted, suggesting the current state of regret is worse. This implies a deep-seated pain that even violence might have momentarily resolved, a chilling thought that underscores the depth of their current despair. These lyrics hit hard because they articulate a raw, almost primal sense of being trapped by one's own mind and past. The specific, almost mundane details like "fishing in my head" and "soaking in brew" ground the abstract feelings of regret and isolation. The narrator's insistence on keeping their mind closed off, even when broken, creates a powerful, albeit bleak, portrait of someone wrestling with profound internal damage and the consequences of their choices.