ABITUDINE (Jam)

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a picture of someone who has become so hardened by life's struggles that they can no longer cry, though the idea of tears still exists in their imagination. This emotional numbness is a defense mechanism, a consequence of enduring prolonged hardship and betrayal. The narrator insists on their resilience, stating they won't give up easily, but also hints at a deep-seated desire for freedom, suggesting that true peace is elusive and that even emotional expression feels like a commodity not worth wasting. The central tension lies between the narrator's outward toughness and an implied internal vulnerability. They acknowledge that others might have surrendered, but they persist, searching for meaning or proof even when not finding peace. There's a clear sense of being misunderstood, with the narrator assuring someone they would be honest about their struggles if they knew how to articulate them. The desire for "freedom" is presented as a potent, almost life-or-death need, and the fear of being "demolished" or left "balancing over a chasm" highlights the precariousness of their emotional state. A striking craft element is the contrast between the narrator's current state and their past or potential future. They claim they won't "waste tears" because they won't lead to "platinum" success, framing even emotional release in terms of tangible achievement. This cynical perspective is further emphasized by the line about hanging up the mic only when it's "Cartier," suggesting a relentless pursuit of material validation. Later, the narrator contrasts the "monotony" they detest with the idea of "lobotomy," indicating a preference for extreme experiences over bland existence. The lyrics also employ a sharp, almost transactional view of relationships and the world, speaking the "language of money" and sending messages via "IBAN code." These lyrics resonate because they articulate a profound sense of emotional armor built through experience. The narrator's assertion that they can no longer cry, but that it "happens in my fantasy," captures a specific kind of desensitization. The plea, "Just don't get used to it," directed at someone they offer support to, is particularly poignant. It suggests that while they can be relied upon, the very act of relying on them might normalize their hardened state, a state they clearly struggle with internally, making the offer of help a complex gesture. The narrator's resilience is framed through a lens of constant conflict and betrayal, likening potential betrayals to "the Last Supper" and describing themselves as "full of troubles and blades in the back." This imagery underscores a deep-seated distrust and a readiness for battle, stating, "it comes easy to me to do harm if they wage war on me." The rejection of a "plan B" and the desire to distance themselves from clichés and monotony reveal a fierce independence and a disdain for predictable paths. The lyrics suggest that this hardened exterior is a necessary survival tool in a world perceived as "full of assholes."