Lyrics

Austin: You're impeding the progress of this recording because you won't drink a beer! Jim: No, I mean, you know, I mean, my God, um... Austin: I love the way you sit there, and you act like you're not being pushy but you're being very suggestive, but you're Being suggestive in a very pushy way Jim: Why don't we- look. Let's just... Austin: You got a resume? I wanna see your credentials before I sing Jim: Maybe- Austin: What have you done? Jim: What have you- um, why, I wrote your theme Austin: (imitating "I Won't Do What You Tell Me", his entrance theme:) Kssh! Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da... Jim: Yeah, yeah, yeah Austin: See, I wanted to get ready to sing? Yeah, you wrote that didn't ya? And I love that how you put the glass in, that Was kickass. Genius Jim: Yeah, thank you very mu- Austin: I know, and then after I say "genius" I finally get to meet ya and hang out with you a little bit, and I'm thinking "What a fucking moron!" And you know, when I think about it, anybody coulda went "Kssh! Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da..." Anybody coulda done that! Jim: Yeah, but... Austin: I'm gonna tell you one time, and this is gonna be the last time, to get a beer Jim: Okay, I'll get a beer Austin: There you go! You know it's funny, if you woulda got a beer five minutes ago, we wouldn't still be doing this five Minutes later Jim: I got a beer. See, there you go Austin: Just because you got a beer in your hand- Jim: Well, you said get a beer and I got a beer so... I mean I figured that maybe that'd be enough Austin: You know, you're probably the dumbest smartass I've ever seen in my life Jim: I'm just trying to get- Austin: How can I be creative when I'm starting to feel so violent? Jim: I'm- Austin: I'm telling you right now to drink a beer Jim: No. (incomprehensible stammering) I mean, not "no" but... Austin: Don't eyeball me Jim: I'm not eyeballing y- Austin: Look at me Jim: I- Austin: Don't eyeball me Jim: A- Austin: Look at me! Don't you understand that you can look at me and not eyeball me? Jim: No, I don't Austin: Yeah, there's a difference Jim: Okay, sorry Austin: You're disrespecting me verbally. I see it in your eyes Jim: I- I'm not- Austin: I'm ready to do this vocal when you drink that beer Jim: No Austin: What? Jim: What? I don't want a beer now Austin: What? What? Jim: Don't want a beer now, don't want a beer now, don't want a beer now! Austin: Drink your beer! Jim: Look, look, Steve... Austin: Drink your beer! Jim: TAKE THE BEER AND STUFF IT RIGHT UP YOUR-- *crash* *grunting* Austin: Well, you're relaxed now, aren't ya?