Waves

Lyrics

I can vaguely recall The panic attacks I'd get when I was young And how my lower back would ache When my bottom rib stuck to my lung How were they suppose to know I wasn't lying, crying wolf All I wanted was a hug All I got was 'stop your crying' Pleasure died that day between the rusty swing set monkey bars The more I'd run from that the more I found I never got too far From an ugly memory just waiting to remind me How na�ve and vulnerable I was before my eyes could see us dying Out of tune out off touch nothing new just not enough Never thought there'd come a day where I'd consider giving up I've hit the ground been down and out before but never for this long.. It's never been so hard to force my head Up When it rains it pours& I lay my face it drifts away I know that this isn't me& I know who I want to be All that I've been working for suddenly means nothing Now Build a castle watch it crumble no more walls a dummy's smile Waves crashing pulling shore Liftingdrenched weepingsore WAVES CRASHING WAVESshore I find myself spending time trying to figure out whats wrong Instead of taking time to cry and reflecting all alone All day long it's almost gone I can feel it in my gut What I've done who I was who I am and why I run& I took a test, took a guess It was wrongI made it up, made it right I know I'll die, its quite alright I know I'm strong, makes me cry& keep it in 'til I can't That's the problem I have yet to figure out how to adapt to sudden trauma Something's wrong-there's something here Something I can't be a part of, left out I want the lead, what is this for? I help the world, I hurt it more Watch it bleed, need forgiveness Oh, I'm sorry, over confident Contrived, cuz I'm still trying to hide my flaws Waves crashing pulling shore Liftingdrenched weepingsore WAVES CRASHING WAVESshore I watch the cheetah chase its prey- I look away she licks the blood I cried until I watched her lay and feed it to her little cub- I'm not sure what I need but this isn't what I want My decisions tire me Wiring got tied knots Witnessing a murder is half the reason why I feel half alive, unsure concerned with With why we have to die I know that this isn't fair but in time will we find out Exactly how we wound up here And why our insides cry out loud I'm a cloud, vapor child & You can't count on me right now I'm dissolving Falling slowly, fading hope I make it out Sink or drown Get back up make a path, take a walk Grab my partner by the hand ask her if she'd like to come&. gotta go It's okay, save the rest for in between No mistake could take the place of lessons learned Chase or flee Waves crashing pulling shore Liftingdrenched weepingsore WAVES CRASHING WAVESshore Nature has its way with me it takes what I call mine From six feet deep climbing up out to cloud nine No direction in my sense turned my world from out to in Sidelies head Its my worldit's the end Let me spin back in control New beginning Hole I left Feels a lot more like my home Something I've learned to accept Higher floatlow I get There no fence Clear as day Comes in waves Glad you're here Reconnecting with my birth Gaining faith, painting fear, aging aches Tasting love-making lovetasting tears Making war, waging-itbreaking up Perfect picture timing nakedmaking it Facing it now Waking up Shore