Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of someone grappling with internal turmoil and a desperate need for reassurance. The repeated plea, "Everytime, everywhere / 僕のことずっと守っていてよ 見捨てんのズルいよ" (Everytime, everywhere / Always protect me, abandoning me is unfair), sets a tone of vulnerability and fear of abandonment. This is immediately followed by a comforting phrase, "慰めた 自分の手で / 苦しいときは泣いたって良いよ" (comforted myself with my own hands / It's okay to cry when you're hurting), suggesting an internal dialogue of self-soothing amidst distress.
The narrator identifies as a "ペシミスト" (pessimist) who "still searching" for something, hinting at a persistent, perhaps unfulfilled, quest. There's a clear tension between acknowledging past mistakes – "穢れたコマ 消し去ってしまえ" (erase the tainted frames) – and the struggle to move on, as they "飲み込んだ気になって" (think they've swallowed them all) only to "やっと吐き出せるよ" (finally be able to spit them out). This cycle of internalizing and then attempting to release pain is a core conflict.
A striking image emerges with "効かない薬持ち腐って / 溶かしてみる、マグカップへ" (letting useless medicine go to waste / try dissolving it into a mug). This suggests a desperate, almost ritualistic attempt to find a solution or escape, using something ineffective and repurposing it in a private, secretive way ("誰も知らないパスワード" - a password no one knows). The act of "他愛を踏み躙る度、苦しくなる" (every time I trample on trivial things, I become pained) highlights a self-destructive pattern that continues despite the suffering it causes.
Ultimately, the lyrics convey a profound need for external validation and a desire to offer that same solace to another. The shift towards "捨てちゃってもいい / 僕の言葉 傷を付けるなら" (it's okay to throw them away / if my words cause wounds) and the promise "君のこといつか救うから" (I will save you someday) reveals a complex emotional landscape where self-deprecation coexists with a powerful drive to protect and heal, even if the path is fraught with personal pain.
