I Wish I Didn’t Think About You

Song Meaning

Kevin Abstract's "I Wish I Didn't Think About You" opens with a stark confession, immediately setting the stage for a raw and introspective exploration of self. The initial lines, referencing Drake and the artist's own tendencies, serve as a jarring contrast between idealized romance and the darker realities of Abstract's life. This juxtaposition hints at a deep-seated desire for something more, a longing for an escape from the self-destructive patterns he finds himself caught in. The line about wanting his life to be like an episode of Baywatch is a plea for simple pleasures and uncomplicated joy, a stark contrast to the chaotic reality he portrays. But the song quickly pivots, acknowledging the vast distance between this idealized vision and the artist’s lived experience. The mention of not being close to 'rap' or 'y'all' suggests a feeling of alienation and a struggle for identity, further compounding his internal conflict. The verse delves deeper into feelings of isolation and potential self-harm, a stark contrast to the often-glossy facade of fame. The line 'Only stay close to this gat / In case I decide to leave soon' is both a cry for help and a chilling statement of intent. Abstract grapples with existential questions, finding solace only in the idea of divine control amidst the chaos. This internal struggle is further complicated by his relationship with faith, as his mother advises him to 'keep dodging church,' suggesting a rejection of traditional religious comfort. The song's later lines expose a different kind of addiction: the digital world. Abstract confesses to being addicted to 'scrolling through Tumblr and getting on Twitter,' behaviors that are now commonplace but also indicative of a deeper yearning for connection and validation. The casual mention of 'browsing through porn sending links to my niggas' highlights a detachment and a potential reliance on superficial interactions to fill a void. Ultimately, "I Wish I Didn't Think About You" is a vulnerable and unflinching portrayal of inner turmoil, addiction, and the search for meaning in a world that often feels isolating and overwhelming. It's a testament to Abstract's willingness to confront his demons and share his struggles with his audience.