even as if never//

Song Meaning

The lyrics of "even as if never//" immediately plunge into a world of self-deception and hidden pain. "Your pride will sanitize" and "Believe the lies" paint a picture of someone actively covering a "wound." This initial denial sets a tone of unease, questioning the true permanence of what's being suppressed. This act of denial quickly introduces a central tension: can a hidden truth truly be erased? The lines "Even as if never? Does it mean forever?" directly challenge the efficacy of sanitizing the past, implying that what's buried might actually be an eternal burden. The narrator appears to grapple with whether ignoring a problem makes it disappear or simply condemns them to its perpetual shadow. The chorus then presents a chilling, almost ritualistic sequence of actions, jarringly juxtaposing the mundane with the destructive. "Loan today / Sung to you" feels transactional, a prelude to the brutal "Break your heart / Dig a grave." The unsettling image of "Pick the flower / And give away" after such finality suggests a profound sacrifice or the offering of something beautiful in the face of profound loss. This fatalistic cycle is underscored in the second verse, where "No tears" signals a grim resignation to an overwhelming force. The ultimate cost of this denial and sacrifice is laid bare, with "Forever meant Russian roulette / In the dark," painting a vivid picture of a permanent, high-stakes gamble. The lyrics effectively convey a sense of inescapable doom, where past wounds, though hidden, dictate a future fraught with unseen dangers.