Plain Jane Fat Ass

Album cover art for "Plain Jane Fat Ass" by Keili Lefkovitz

Keili Lefkovitz - Pop, Soundtrack

Plain Jane Fat Ass

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Lyrics

[IVY, spoken] Hey Romeo, you coming? [JASON, spoken] In a sec [Ivy and Peter exit, and Nadia approaches Jason] [NADIA, JASON, spoken] Congratulations, Romeo Dad'll be excited Yeah, I'm looking forward to that conversation Now, don't forget that behind every great man Is a dimwitted sister who just wants to be fed Nurse, who knew? I thought for sure I'd get Peasant Number 8 Or Jolly Spinstress Number 3 I know you have more confidence in your acting than that Oh, I do (sung) I know a girl full of confidence Yes, whenever she's full, she's a confident girl She'll have your piece of pie Then inhale another ten There's a thin girl inside her with twelve of her friends Hips that could bear you a buffalo (spoken) Longhorn? (sung) Ass that's so vast, I could block out the sun You know that you're insane I'm a caution for the vain Mothers say "Well, dear, there's fat, then there's Jane" [NADIA] Plain Jane fat ass Guilty of swallowing Jenny Craig whole Plain Jane fat ass Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role [JASON, NADIA, spoken] Why are you so hard on yourself? Why are you such an overachiever? Dad (Mom) "Nadia, it's just that I know you'd be happier—" "Okay, kiddo I didn't spend thousand of dollars on private golf lessons So you could quit the team sophomore year" "It's mind over matter, if you keep your mind focused" "We just want you to be happy", to make us happy (sung) But why can't the fat girl play Juliet? It's the plumpest of roles, so then why not pick me? It's just a stupid show Says a dashing Romeo Well, I've played a servant for years in a row [NADIA] But I'll have the last laugh, you bet your ass Hurt me? You can't! I have mounds of thick skin Beating high school doesn't last And someday, I have a hunch That I'll eat them for breakfast And shit them for lunch Plain Jane fat ass Hungry for love, she's a sensitive soul Plain Jane fat ass Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role (spoken) Dad's birthday package arrived Two weeks late, as usual Here's your birthday check Financial proof that Dad loves you, huh And oh, surprise, a note! (sung) "Dear Jason Please find enclosed This very thick package that came for you yesterday I talked to Father Flynn and he told me you were in But call anyway when you open it" (spoken) Notre Dame! (sung) "We always knew that you'd keep the McConnell flame burning Love, Dad" [JASON, NADIA, spoken] Hey, what did Dad get you? You mean what did a Dad's secretary get me? These earrings I think they're slimming What do you think? Come here [They hug]

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Credits

Writers
  • Jon Hartmere, Jr.
  • Damon Intrabartolo