Should’ve Been Here

Lyrics

[Verse 1] 'Cause I'm a mixed up youngster in a grown man's world I'm trynna turn these sticks and stones into diamonds and pearls I never knew you, but I heard that you was the shit From every aunt and every uncle, anyone you was with I got a few memories, but they not that clear When you laughed when granddaddy pulled pennies from out my ear Always told me little things that a baby should hear But then you cried whenever daddy tried to instill fear I wish I knew [up?] all the things that you had wantеd to do All I can find up in my mind is poppy screaming at you For no reason, then my hеart starts bleeding Because I can't place your touch or your voice Or the smile on your face And now you're gone, and there's not even a trace Just some picture shit Getting so hard, sometimes I wish that I was with you 'Cause I heard you was a nurse, you balled and loved art Had a good sense of humor and a real big heart People always saying Kaze acting too damn nice But they don't know I'm living part of you up out of my life Because sometimes I know shit, and I'm not that smart And sometimes I reap the benefits, ain't played no part Should've known that it was you looking down from the start Seemed to hold my world together when it's falling apart My sister tried to treat me like she always thought that you would My pops turned to alcohol and worked as hard as he could I guess I sort of turned out alright, but far from perfect Plans to be the dopest emcee alive that's on the surface Life's a bitch, but tends to make me nervous I thought 'bout service Drunk swerving, screaming that I don't deserve it 'Cause of you, I'm from VA, stayed away from DAs My sister got a track scholarship, she running relays 'Cause of you, I went to college, and I got more knowledge I learned how to kick that game and spit rhymes flawless Spoke words with the scholarlies and laid with the lawless But death could never take the breath, the memories come regardless Don't visit your grave much because you know that I hate To be crying uncontrollably for three days straight Can't sleep and getting nauseous off the food on my plate It's Waverly's own, the queen [Pearl Parker?] the great This is for you, won't stop until I see things through Most people get one mama, God blessed me with two So when the rhyme is all done and this music is through Then, damn, you know I'm coming home to you Rest in peace, ma, you know I'm coming home to you Reast in peace, mama (word, word, word) [Chorus] The first time I rode my bike right and swim in a pool Got beat up for my lunch money just walking to school The first home run I hit with a baseball bat Damn, I wish you could've been here for that Especially the first time I ever said a rhyme or spit on a track Or got harassed by the police because I was black I would've asked you what to do, the right way to react Damn, I wish you would've been here for that To all my niggas, don't cry or wish to die because your loved ones' gone 'Cause they alive every time y'all niggas pump this song Work on good and close family and keep it as strong So my mama's memories can live on, and live on [Verse 2] 'Cause I've been caught up a couple times with kids on the way But none of my youngest can ever seem to see the light of day 'Cause I was 18 the first time, 23 the last Got a [storm?] up on my heart for every seed that done passed There's baby mothers that done cried and have died for me For the simple fact they said that they would ride for me Learned lessons the hard way about playing with life I keep giving the wrong decisions because my living is trife Too busy getting high, illin', chillin' out with my crew You calling me crying and say 'Kaze, what the fuck should I do?' I try to be a man and tell her, say 'it's up to you You wanna have my baby, then I'ma see things through' And I've been scared and confused, shit, more than a little bit But never have I ever told a shorty to get rid of it Can't wait to be a daddy, yo, I'm telling my peeps No more booty calls and alcohol and running the streets I'm copping 'Tures and baby Jordans I'ma put on your feet Bugging off the way you try to walk and talk like me On my way home from Thanksgiving, I'm ready to eat When the doctor called and said the term, you couldn't complete Words I wish I never heard, a miscarriage had just occurred And hindsight is 20/20 that my vision was blurred That God's blueprint was different, it happened for a reason And I ain't gotta say nothing that rhyme with that 'Cause when I do have a kid, I'll be there for that I'll teach you right from wrong, a steel will to grow strong And be better than your daddy was at making a song In long run, I hope I didn't ruin your life My baby's mother hits me up sometimes, I still got the number We can sip on a brew, I feel the pain like you I fed you lots of bullshit, but damn, this be the truth Word, this be the truth (no lie) [Chorus] The first time you rode your bike right or swam in a pool Or got beat up for your lunch money just walking to school The first home run you hit with a baseball bat Damn, you know I would've been there for that Especially the first time you ever said a rhyme or spit on a track Or got harassed by the police because you was black I would've told you what to do, the right way to react Damn, you know I would've been there for that To all my niggas, don't cry or wish to die because your loved ones' gone 'Cause they alive every time y'all niggas pump this song So work on good and close families and keep it as strong So my baby's memories can live on, and live on