Progress

Lyrics

[BILL] If you looked at this town a few decades ago You'd be appalled by the sheer lack of density But this model before you shows a place on the grow Where fast becoming an immense city Between you and me It's a ripe opportunity To invest in nothingless Than des-tinyyyyy! Awwwww, yeah! There's a porpoise spit casino - And guys like you and me know If you wanna make an omelette You have to break some eggs They didn't want it here But I gave the all clear Now it's the tallest bloody omelette in the southern hemisphere! Done! I got it done! Our new shopping mall Used to be the old town hall With a stupid statue! We bulldozed the lot The historical committee picked a fight It wasn't pretty So I offered them shares - They signed up on the spot [HESLOP FAMILY] Done! Ba ba da da ba ba ba ba ba dum I got it done! Ba ba da da ba ba ba ba [BILL] When they say stop! I say go! When they say no I say trow And they say why I say you can't stop- [ALL] Progress! [BILL] I'm a believer in progress! [HESLOP FAMILY] He's a believer - yeah! You can't stop- [ALL] Progress! [BILL] A major achiever- [HESLOP FAMILY] You never stop it! In pro-gress! You never stop it! [CHARLIE CHAN] You know what they call this great man? Bill the Battler [BILL] I've been battling all me life! [CHARLIE CHAN] Battling for Porpoise Spit! [INVESTOR] What's this building here? [BILL] Oh that building there! That's Porpoise Spit High School Sadly not for sale [INVESTOR] Oh, would you recommend it? [BILL] It's where all my kids attended [INVESTOR] Education is splendid [BILL] Well, all of them failed! [HESLOP FAMILY] Ba ba da da ba ba ba ba ba dum Ba ba da da ba [BILL] Here's an example Of a typical millennial My daughter Muriel Never gets it right! Wants to be a secretary I paid the tuition fee 10,000 dollars! She still - can't - type! [MURIEL] If I couldn't type Then why did they give me my secretarial diploma? [BILL] Because I paid for it! Now she just sits around like a dead weight! Watching TV, sleeping all day and getting arrested at weddings! You're useless You're all useless! A useless bunch of no hopers! Carparks! Resorts! Malls! Casinos! [CHARLIE CHAN] The Giant Prawn! Prawns, prawns! The Fun Banana! Prawns, prawns! The Big Chip! Prawns! Sugar Cane Tower! [BILL & CHARLIE CHAN] I think big! [DEIDRE CHAMBERS] Big! [BILL & CHARLIE CHAN] I do it large! [DEIDRE CHAMBERS] Large! [BILL, CHARLIE CHAN & DEIDRE CHAMBERS] The things you can accomplish When the grown ups are in charge! Looking forward Let's push ahead! Strap on the boots! Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes! [DEIDRE CHAMBERS] (operatic solo) [ALL] Progress! [BILL] [ALL except BILL] I'm a believer in progress! He's a believer in progress! [ENSEMBLE] He's a believer - yeah! [ALL] You can't stop progress! A major achiever- [BILL AND ENSEMBLE] [HESLOP FAMILY] You'll never stop it! In progress! You'll never stop it! [ALL] Progress! [BILL] [ALL except BILL] I'm a believer in progress! He's a believer in progress! [ENSEMBLE] He's a believer - yeah! [ALL] You can't stop progress! [BILL & DEIDRE CHAMBERS] Like Jesus and Caesar! [ALL] You'll never stop it! You'll never stop it! You'll never stop it! You'll never stop it! [ALL except BILL] Progress [BILL] You can't stop [ALL except BILL] Progress [BILL] You can't stop [ALL except BILL] Progress! [BILL] You can't stop! [ALL except BILL] Progress [BILL] You can't stop [ALL] Can't stop Can't stop Can't stop Can't stop- [BILL] Me!