Tendencies

Lyrics

[Verse] So tell me right now my nigga what you want Yeah I sit in my room with a couple of blunts Yeah If I'm being honest then I was surrounded by lots of distractions When it's all said and done I pray the Lord can forgive me for all of my ignorant actions What am I asking? I can't believe in a deity that don't exist And if I reminisce, then I'm blessed with the clearest depiction of pain that some people are causing me I was like ten or eleven vividly remember my father walking out to leave me He would step out the door but then never return So in time I would turn into something that you've never seen I'm a literal monster that might make a massacre, masochist, and mastermind I've been ready to die If you took a look inside my mind Then I guarantee that you'll go blind What the fuck do we find? I've been living in darkness forever My pen was never redefined And I go back and forth in a system of psychoanalysis, constant offender, repetitive felon Developed a hatred of people possessing the same complexion that I see When I look in the mirror I can't stand the image reflecting on everything I'll never be And my mother's a fiend I said my mother's a fiend She been a user for years And if I remember correctly it was her addiction that made me a joke to my peers And I'm making it clear I'm not longer a kid or a child I'm a man that has run out of options And I bought the biggest of pistols to pop it at people I'm tweaking, and seeking While peeping a victim I see that my future is dimmer and bleak And if we ever meet I can never beseech I'll besiege you with bullets By pulling the trigger from thinkin' yo pockets are poorest with pennies Deplorable act I would love to commit it [Invented the venom up in this nigga?] Commended by givin' the spirit of vengeance The hatred I have is inherent It's oh so apparent that I wanted guidance But never got that from my parents And paired with my confidence or self-esteem When I sleep, I can't dream I see too many things that have stunted my growth It's a constant regression so I'm feelin' lost Abstainin' from everything With the image that I have presented to people To see that the pain that I'm feelin' is deep but it's no pity party I'm starving so I gotta eat And I ain't seen my mother in weeks And I mean if I did it was never that long I've been thinkin' 'bout life and the path that I chose So I need to expose all my issues And get rid of all my problems that I am possessing with prominence People will break up their promises All for a piece of percentage they get from repentance Dependent upon if you fillin' the penance I live in depression I cause a funeral procession My life ain't a blessing This stress and austerity barely showing dexterity All that I wanted was clarity Dare say that mind is a rarity Really embarrassing Fuck it I just saw a nigga that's walking and talking on a phone that I can't afford And I seen him out my window, this is a problem that he cannot avoid 'Cause I'm broke as fuck And I'm tired of feelin' stuck It's time to press my luck I bet I put the pistol right between his eyes I make him feel surprised to see his own demise And what I should describe, a plan I would devise So I can now survive, a minute's all I need I breathe Then decide