I Wish

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Briggs] I wish I was that guy you could take to meet ya parents Appearance let alone would have me barred in a minute Politickin' wit' ya pops have a talk over dinner Nah, drunk in the car and I wait till ya finish Don't leave me out there too long gettin' bored Sittin' in the driveway beepin' the car horn Your mother's in tears, I think I've upset her And ya sister in your ear sayin' you can do better Then we off, drive on to the drive-thru Six pack, jacks, gin, oh, baby I love you Meatloaf lover, there ain't nothin' I won't do Except that, scrap that, nah, fuck that too Far from thoughtful, as deep as a creek Find me in the street, ten deep with the creeps Sneak in while you sleep, slide up in your sheets Arrested in second 'cause you moved last week [Chorus] I—, I—, I—, I wish—, wish, damn I wish I was Ahh, shit, make a wish, ahh, shit, make a wish I wish I were that stand up citizen Role model for the children Poster boy for the innocent (Now I can do a lot of things if I had some money) But I'm like (I got a great idea for a movie) [Verse 2: Briggs] Got them, beer goggles, Roy Orbison On the bar like an ornament, next round, order 'em Bar staff avoidin' him last round, I slaughtered e'm Sittin' on the stool like a busted accordion Talkin' to this broad like I'm charming as fuck But what's coming out is what's comin' up I thought I was in the zone, but I was in a state And does the drink still count if it just went in my face? Move on to the next possibility Walk across the room to the best of my ability Literally run into this thing from the Philippines Nineteen, fillin' up a B cup, she feelin' me She grabbin' my hand tries to walk to the dance floor I'm like, "Nah girl, what the fuck ya wanna dance for?" (What the fuck?) Fred Astaire, I'm not, you got ya wires crossed I'm at the bar when ya ready with a couple of shots [Chorus] I—, I—, I—, I wish—, wish, damn I wish I was Ahh, shit, make a wish, ahh, shit, make a wish I wish I were that stand up citizen Role model for the children Poster boy for the innocent (I really wish I was) But I'm like I wish I were that guy Were that type, were that nice But I wish you wouldn't whine All the time, then we'd be fine [Verse 2: Briggs] No License, but drunk enough to drive 50cent style, shots, yep I took nine Something seems to be wrong with my spine 'Cause I'm crawlin', but I'm certain I can walk a straight line, if I tried So I stood up, yep, flat on my back I wanna walk the line but I'm no Johnny Cash And if somebody asks you don't know where I am 'Cause I left the bar man with a five-hundred tab So long, son, catch me if you can Maybe next week, when I forget, I'll come back But I fled the scene, and I jumped in a cab And when this joint stops, I'm the gingerbread man Usain Bolt when the cab pull up Wheels spin and the car's backin' up I'm good for ten meters, no stamina God damn the poor lungs can't stand the gut [Chorus] I—, I—, I—, I wish—, wish, damn I wish I was Ahh, shit, make a wish, ahh, shit, make a wish I wish I were that stand up citizen Role model for the children Poster boy for the innocent (I can be all those things) But I'm like (If I really put my focus into it) [Outro] If I really applied myself and actually, you know, had a red hot go Pays his rent, all the stuff regular people do But I'm not a regular person, you know, I'm different I'm fucking [?]