Undesirable Element (Lovebox)

Lyrics

[Verse 1] So far everything's going swimmingly I'm feeling over confident (yeah) Standing at the gates with my arms straight out Just chatting to the bouncers, all nonchalant But I'm suddenly aware of this movement, below me Something circling my trainers And in a split second I realise I'm fucked, there's no way this is gonna be painless The dog barks And before I can pull myself together Swiftly approaches a PC (beautiful) She looks me dead in the eye and says 'Sir, I know you're carrying something you shouldn't be' And then she says 'put your palms together' And takes me in this weird thumb hold thing Leading me through that gawping crowd Told my mum she would've been so proud So now I'm sitting on a bench in a holding tent Thinking I'm way too old for this shit And there's not much to do but take off my shoes And hand over my disco biscuits And she thanking me for my compliance and saying 'You seem quite honest to me sir But we still need to a very thorough strip search I'm afraid it's just standard procedure' [Chorus] I was only looking for a good time Officer Good time, good time, good time I was only looking for a good time Officer Good time, good time [Verse 2] Now I'm standing there in my birthday suit With my crowned jewels pulled to one side (one side) And there's a neon sign that keeps flashing in my mind It says 'not quite dignified' And if you combined the two ages of the officers watching I doubt it's more than 36 And I'm thinking I bet you didn't sign up to spend all your weekends Inspecting strangers dicks I pull up my clothes and join the rest of the criminals Making various protests Standing in line to be processed Interview, autograph, fingerprints, photograph A skinny moustache on the man reading my rights He says a lot of other stuff I can't remember And for the purpose of this story it's irrelevant And he finishes with the wisdom 'Oh oh now sir, you are the undesirable element' (Undesirable, undesirable) [Chorus] I was only looking for a good time Officer Good time, good time, good time, yeah I was only looking for a good time Officer Good time, good time, good I was only looking for a good time Officer I was only looking for a good time I was only looking for a good time I was only looking for a good time