This Year

Song Meaning

The narrator is wrestling with self-control and desire, fixated on a specific person. They acknowledge a need for restraint, admitting they should "shut my mouth" and go to bed alone unless it's with this particular individual, because "no one else will do this year." This intense focus suggests a deep longing, bordering on obsession, where external validation or companionship is secondary to this one connection. The repeated phrase "this year" anchors this feeling in a specific, perhaps urgent, timeframe, implying a desire for change or a resolution within this period. The central tension arises from the narrator's internal struggle to reconcile their actions with their desires, particularly concerning this person. They express a willingness to alter their own behavior, even their self-perception, to accommodate the other person's potential actions: "if you were to / I'd amend that for you this year." This highlights a dynamic where the narrator is willing to bend significantly, perhaps to a fault, to maintain or initiate this connection. The lyrics also touch on a recurring conflict, a "battle or lines / That we keep reliving instead of forgiving," suggesting a history of arguments or misunderstandings that the narrator desperately wants to move past. The most striking lyrical device is the contrast between the narrator's self-imposed rules and their willingness to break them for this person, coupled with the plea for a fresh start. The question "So why can't we go from the start" is repeated, evolving into a demand for a "new start" in the bridge. This shift from questioning to asserting signifies a growing resolve. The imagery of a "float / In the Macy's Day Parade" while others "look away" is particularly evocative, painting a picture of public display and potential shame or isolation, yet the narrator still yearns to "show them how different we are," implying a desire for this relationship to be recognized and celebrated despite its complexities. Ultimately, the effectiveness of these lyrics lies in their raw portrayal of yearning and the internal conflict it breeds. The narrator’s self-awareness of their own limitations ("voices in my head") and their fervent desire for a specific connection create a relatable, albeit intense, emotional landscape. The repeated emphasis on "this year" and the call for a "new start" imbues the narrative with a sense of urgency and hope, making the listener feel the weight of the narrator's desire for a fundamental shift in their relationship dynamics.