One Helluva Pair

Lyrics

[Intro: Officers] Dispatch, we are in hot pursuit of two hostile fugitives One immensely obese brute accompanied by a scrawny, peg-legged minion Now, we have attempted peaceful negotiations here, but— Wait, what's this? We're picking up something on another frequency Let me patch it through [Verse 1: Junkrat] They call me Junkrat, I'm a violent rodent I never use guns, but I like explosives I'll stop the payload with my remote (Click) It's good news when I say "I've blown it" I'm always laughin' 'cause I'm always jokin' Swipe me right on Tinder, because I'm smokin' hot Probably 'cause I'm a Pyro My hair's on fire, if you need a light though I think aiming is overrated Dynamite and bombs are all I play with It's a perfect day for mayhem Got a couple traps and it's time I lay them I've always got a leg up, mate Send ya sky high where the weather's great That's a wrap, now that you all know me Show some love for my psycho Roady [Verse 2: Roadhog & Junkrat] Shut up, Rat, I'm sick of your voice I'm paying you well, you've got no choice I'm a demo expert, sorry if I'm a little wired I wouldn't be here if I wasn't hired I live in the fast lane, I'm not a boar I'm a hog that the pigs never caught before With a mask that you'll never see me take off Like Leatherface, straight out of Texas Chainsaw Heavyweight champ, a wasteland Hulk I won't fat shame you, no need to sulk I'm not a fatass, I'm on a bulk, you know Shut up, Mad Max, you're in my Thunderdome I'll hop on my Harley, spread some anarchy Fry these buggers like shrimp on the barbie You mess with me, and I'll ruin you worse The Junkrat just did to this verse [Interlude: Junkrat & Roadhog] Oh, don't take it so personally, Roadhog You just have to ruin everything Well, I'll agree on that one Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha [Chorus: Roadhog, Junkrat & Both] Countin' down to detonation Hold your ground, eradication Look around, it's devastation Lay to waste all of creation Light the fuse, lock and load Hit the juice, we're on the road The Rat and the Hog, one hell of a pair We're still not friends, but we are getting there [Interlude: Roadhog & Junkrat] Really? 'Cause this is hardly a start You're just an obnoxious body to guard But the money we're makin', the riches we're takin' The bonds that we've made And the friendship we're fakin'? You're too loud and it's pissin' me off You smell roadkill and it's makin' me cough (*coughs*) Fire in the hole, I just saved your ass Oh, damn, thanks, I guess [Verse 3: Roadhog & Junkrat] Still, without me, you would never win And who's gonna help you, one of your chins? Ha-ha-ha, okay, Rat, I'll give ya that one Look, I squeezed a laugh out of the fat one Here, take a burger, looks like you need it (Aw) Thanks, Roady, I'm surprised you didn't eat it I'm only joking, you're used to taking flak Hold your breath if you're taking cover at my back (*screams*) Oh, God, not the toxic fumes That's when the gas mask really comes in use It's for radiation and preventing infection The stank you smell is my indigestion I could light a match by your ass We'd all be on fire this entire match And while you pester us, the rest of us are workin' You're not a Junkrat, you're a worthless vermin Through defenses, I'm blowin' holes Who you gonna call for zone control? Fine, but if you're gonna help, be quiet Hey, what's on your meal plan? I wanna try it Double decker burgers, filet mignon I'll blow out your brains if you say bacon I guess that one hits close to home A little too close, you don't even know (Don't even know, know, know) (Don't even know, know, know) (Don't even know, know, know) [Bridge: Roadhog & Junkrat] I remember a field (Field, field) where the piggies would graze (Graze, graze) 'Til the Omnics came in, and all our nation was razed Just thinkin' of bacon is heartache A piece of me died on that dark day Now I'm back on the road with no family or friends I ride my cycle alone, I guess this is how it ends But wherever you go, I will follow (-llow) I'll be by your side if you want so [Chorus: Roadhog & Junkrat] When the rubble subsides and the debris sweeps away I'll look into your eyes and I know what you'll say We're a two-man army stirring up anarchy All our foes will be fried up just like shrimp on the barbie Hop on my Harley, I want you in my sidecar They've taken my leg, but it was you who took my heart In a totally platonic way Well, yes, that goes without saying This is sufficiently awkward, let's continue our rampage [Outro: Random People, Roadhog & Junkrat] (*screams*) Hey, Junkrat What is it, you old bugger? If you tell anyone about that 'Bout what? Us singin' and all? I will kill you (Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh) Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, mate Lips are sealed, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Ugh