Lyrics

[MISS MARMELSTEIN] Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Oh, Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Other girls get called by their first names right away They get cozy, intimate, know what I mean? Nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Honey dear" Or "Sweetie pie" (Miss Marmelstein) Even my first name would be preferable Though it's terrible, it might be better, it's Yеtta Or perhaps my second name, that's Tеssye Spelled T-E-S-S-Y-E But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein You'd think at least Miss M they could try (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Oh, I could die I'm a very willing secretary Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate Except for one disappointment, one fly in the ointment It's great, I mean, simply great The aggravation of my situation I might as well get it off my chest It's the drab appellation Oh, pardon the big words I apply But I was an English major at CCNY Drab appellation With which I am persistently addressed Persistently, perpetually, continually, inevitably addressed Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Oh, Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Other girls get called by their nicknames right away Slightly naughty or risqué, do you know what I mean? Nobody calls me "Koo-chee-koo" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Bubbeleh" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Passion pie" (Miss Marmelstein) Even "Hey there, babe," though not respectable Ain't so objectable It's kind of crummy but chummy Of course, if I got married, that would do it So, where's the lucky guy? Huh? Oh 'Til then, it still is Miss Marmelstein Every day I get more and more fussed (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Oh-oh, I could bust