The Rap

Lyrics

[ZACK] I don't do songs, I'm all about the written word And you should see me write graffiti, concrete's preferred There's nothin' worse than hearing verse sung like a tweety bird Unless it's screamin' 'cause I'm beatin' up a theater nerd Or haven't you heard - I'm the black sheep in the band of brothers Who sit around singing showtunes Giving back rubs to each other You make a musical, don't matter if it's witty or pretty That's a one way ticket to buttkicked city Where you all are permanent residents Do you need a little more evidence? Dr. Horrible – Hey that's sound kinda dark and cool Song-along blog – What the f*ck is this? Preschool? Zacky's doing us a little favor (Yeah) Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (Uh huh, uh huh) Don't tell him it's a musical (No no) 'Cause then he might kill us all Zacky's doing us a little favor (Uh huh) Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (That's right) Don't tell him it's a musical 'Cause then he might kill us all You people are in freefall, straight into a cheese ball I get a message please call my bookie buddy, He's all - What the hell is up with you up on Hulu Thought we were layin' low after that hooker snafu I said, hey listen, you just misunderstood I got to get in on this web sh*t while the gettin's good I didn't know there were songs, that shit makes me sick My brother said it's about a guy who kills some chick [JED] Hey, weren't you a prince in The King and I in seventh grade? [ZACK] No, but I was backstage in the dark getting laid [JED] Weren't you pigpen in that Charlie Brown show we did? [ZACK] No, I just wandered on stage during my homeless period [JED] Didn't you sing about the business in Annie Get Your Gun? [ZACK] Is that what that was? I've been tanked up since ninety-one [JED] Weren't you the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz or something? [ZACK] Yeah, but I played the f*ck out of that part Zacky's doing us a little favor (Yeah) Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (Uh huh, uh huh) Don't tell him it's a musical (That's right) 'Cause then he might kill us all (C'mon now) Zacky's doing us a little favor (Uh huh) Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (Yes) Don't tell him it's a musical 'Cause then he might kill us all I wrote all the good lines and I made them funny But I was only in it for the Horrible money Plus some were cut out, cause Joss is such a wuss he Cut my line for the girl, "The Penny is my p*ssy" Not to mention my whole Moist storyline Where he gets caught selling blow at the rest stop and serves time And then he gets out and tries to get his sh*t together And teaches art to underprivileged kids at the local high school But things take an interesting turn when an old gambling buddy comes to collect See? It's his former life coming back to haunt him You can't outrun your past See? Get it? That's the point, Joss. It's compelling! What's going to happen to these kids? Zacky's doing us a little favor (Yes!) Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (I agree) Don't tell him it's a musical 'Cause then he might kill us all (C'mon) Zacky's doing us a little favor (Sure) Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (You go) Don't tell him it's a musical 'Cause then he might kill us all (That's a—) Zacky's doing us a little favor Blessin' Commentary with his flavor (Zack!) Don't tell him it's a musical 'Cause then he might kill us all (I'm the youngest!) Zacky's doing us a little favor Blessin' Commentary with his flavor Don't tell him it's a musical 'Cause then he might kill us all