Today Was Garbage

Lyrics

Can't take it, constantly deflated I don't find joy in the things I call favorite I don't see myself in the mirror, I think it's tainted I get frustrated at things that ain't even related Tell myself it's what I deserve It's all lies I box myself in, I'm closed, I draw lines Looking at the other side of progression Feels like I am weapon Tell myself it's not a sign of depression No, this is natural Trying not to cry when I'm at work and in the bathroom They look for me to smile, because I've always just been that dude The happiness inside was taken from me like a vacuum People who don't know are just ready to attack you Co-worker that talked about me in the open Crazy cause the two of us have never spoken I pray for whatever problems have caused you to Talk away from my face And maybe it's cause you're broken But it's breaking down my focus I've been losing my confidence, that's what I've noticed Why's it dark when I'm sitting here with my eyes open? If I'm supposed to feel supported, why I don't know it? This a new definition of sittin' sideways Haven't talked to The Father in 25 days And it all feels better the moment I pray But lately I've been struggling in my faith I'm probably my own worst critic Self doubt levels are most likely near acidic Verbal abuse coming from my own mouth and breath It goes out and then it comes back 'round to visit I'm disappointed in myself Looking for an alternate method, hoping it might help Working through the problems and all the issues that I've felt Suddenly reminded of the tools that mama told me keep in my belt Gotta be the Person that the world wanna see from me I look in the mirror and I try to convince the man Savor every moment that I store in the camera roll Maybe that's the reason why I post it on Instagram Maybe all the likes and the comments All the follows in common When I'm down at the bottom will tell me I ain't forgotten When songs ain't playing, when my name isn't poppin' Truth be told, it's never gonna solve the problem 'Cause it's artificial Came home to a house that I know Came home to a spouse that I know Came home to a couch that I know Came home to the doubts that I know Today was garbage