Mum Does the Washing

Lyrics

The world according to your mum doing the washing Capitalism Your mum does the washing, you pay her a dollar You get her to do your mate's washing, your mate pays you fifty dollars Communism Your mum does the washing, you do the washing Every night, you salute a picture of your dad Socialism Your mum does the washing, you do the cooking Everybody is happy, in theory Feudalism Your mum does the washing and pays you tax Colonialism You barge into your mum's room Claim you discovered your mum's room Dump all your dirty clothes on the floor Fascism Your mum does the washing And you are obsessed with her nose Liberalism You watch your mum do the washing And you feel really, really bad "Something must be done" you say Something may or may not get done Libertarianism Your mum does the washing You believe you did the washing Religion Your mum does the washing You thank god Atheism Your mum does the washing You make a twelve-part YouTube video demanding peer-reviewed evidence That she did, in fact, do the washing Zionism You shoved your mum into the washing machine And the spinning made her dizzy And that dizziness made her vomit And you point to that vomit and call it antisemitism Americanism Your mum does the washing It's in the constitution End of discussion Mansplaining Your mum does the washing You tell her how best to do the washing You have never done the washing Same-sex marriage Your mums do the washing Patriarchy Your mum doesn't exist Your washing is mysteriously done TERFism Your mum doesn't want your other mum doing the washing Because of like, genitals and stuff Polling There is a seventy perfect chance You will do the washing on Saturday night Come Sunday morning It was one-hundred percent done by your mum Africanism You go to Benny's house Benny's mum does the washing You ask your mum why she doesn't do the washing You do not survive the night Feminism Your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing White feminism Your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing Male feminism The one time I did the washing I told everyone I did the washing I blogged about it Bragged about it Took a selfie Insta story Went on TV Won an Oscar Went on Fortnite Did a dance I am an ally Hashtag metoo Egalitarianism The one time you did the washing Is proof it's all equal and no one needs feminism anymore Hip-hop Everyday I'm hustling Everyday I'm hustling When I bring the basket My mum puts the washing in Narcissism You look good in the clothes your mum washed Surrealism The washing does your mum