The Soviet Machine

Lyrics

[MOLOKOV, spoken] Comrades, why are you looking so worried? We are not dealing with the traitor Sergievsky now Comrade Viigand is a disciplined Soviet chess-playing machine [MOLOKOV] Just in case you feel a trace Of doubt or even nervous tension Let me draw the latest score To your attention Not the score, the witless score That commentators are debating Come, admit, who gives a shit For Elo rating? No, I prefer And I'm sure you concur To see who's ahead Psychologically, for example We have on tap An inscrutable chap Whose thoughts never stray From the state of the play [MOLOKOV & CRONIES, spoken] Viigand! [MOLOKOV, spoken] Whereas... [MOLOKOV] It's so difficult to concentrate if You have left your native Country for a woman who has plans of her own It's not easy for a chap to excel Feeling guilty as hell Having left his wife to face the music alone But, even worse Imagine if his ladies met Well, then I'll bet The atmosphere 'round here Would be a little strained As she explained *Clap clap* How could he do What he's done to those two Most wonderful girls Yes, I love you both [CRONIES] Most amusing! [MOLOKOV] Starting them scratch They'll torpedo his match His horsepower dead On the board and in bed [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] Bit by bit the pieces fit The Soviet machine advances Not one move that Won't improve our nation's chances We predict a stunning victory Both on the board and off it This will show the traitor No one rats with profit [MOLOKOV, spoken] Ha ha ha ha [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] But we're gonna smash that bastard Make him wanna change his name Take him to the cleaners and devastate him Wipe him out, humiliate him We don't want the whole world saying "They can't even win a game" We have never reckoned on coming second [MOLOKOV] There's no use in losing [CRONIES] We can feel the flame of triumph burning [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] Bit by bit the pieces fit (Our people's pride returning) [MOLOKOV] The Soviet machine advances [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] Not one move that won't Improve our nation's chances Hoi! [MOLOKOV] No, I prefer And I'm sure you concur To see who's ahead Psychologically, for example We have on tap An inscrutable chap Whose thoughts never stray From the state of the play [CRONIES] La la la la, la la la la la la La la, la la la, la la la la la la, la la la la la [MOLOKOV] La la la la, la la la la la la La la, la la la, la la la la la [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] Bit by bit the pieces fit The Soviet machine advances Not one move that won't Improve our nation's chances Hey! We predict a stunning victory Both on the board and off it This will show the traitor No one rats with profit Ah, la la la la! [MOLOKOV] From Moscow to the Bering Strait Citizens will hail our victory [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] In arctic circles, frozen states Will join with warmer climes in reverie [MOLOKOV] And I can say of this affair I was there Did my share Played my part [MOLOKOV & CRONIES] And comrades all will be aware I was there From the start Mmm mmm [VIIGAND] Ah ah