The Campfire Song

Lyrics

[LUKE], spoken Come on, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow [PERCY, spoken] Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire? Is the food here really that bad? [LUKE, spoken] Offering to the gods. It's not enough that they're omnipotent and all-powerful, they need to feel appreciated. To the gods! [ENSEMBLE, spoken] To the gods! [LUKE] Oh, things couldn't be worse When your parents run the universe [ALL] Oh, things couldn't be worse When your folks run the universe [LUKE] My dad is Hermes He messengers things You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings I'd wait by the phone, but the phone never rings Oh no [ENSEMBLE makes noises of agreement.] When your dad's a god, life can be tough I met the guy once, and once was enough (Spoken) Annabeth? [ANNABETH] My mom's Athena She's smart and she's wise She's sworn off gluten and she's sworn off guys But if she came to camp, it'd be a surprise Oh no [LUKE & KATIE] Oh, no Oh, and my stepmom, she hates me, and my dad works all day So I left Virginia and I ran away [PERCY, spoken] Wait, is that true? [LUKE, spoken] Everybody! [ALL] Oh, things couldn't be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn't be worse When your folks run the universe [LUKE, spoken] Alright, who's next? [KATIE, spoken] Oh! Okay, let me see! Uh... (Sung) My mom's Demeter Goddess of grain She gets excited when it starts to rain But planting and planting and planting's a pain Oh no [ENSEMBLE: Oh no] [KATIE, spoken] Right? (Sung) For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car I got a fern in some dumb mason jar [GROVER, spoken] Ooh, ooh! My turn! (Sung) I'm a child of Pan God of the wild For those who love nature, they're often beguiled He's not really my dad, but I'm sort of his child... Oh no... [ENSEMBLE: Oh, no] [GROVER] He went for a hike to explore new frontiers And no one has seen him for thousands of years [ALL] Oh, things couldn't be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn't be worse When your folks run the universe [PERCY, spoken] Chiron! Who's your dad? [CHIRON, spoken] Oh, well... (Sung) My father is Kronos Remember my lecture He ate his children [LUKE, spoken] Chiron wins [ENSEMBLE makes noises of agreement] How about you Silena? [SILENA] The goddess of love My mom's Aphrodite She tries to be cool but mainly she's flighty I'll bring home a boy, and she's there in her nightie [ENSEMBLE: Oh no!] (Spoken) It's so embarrassing, guys! (Sung) I tried to seek help from even the fates Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates [LUKE, spoken] Alright Percy, it's your turn [PERCY, spoken] If I tried to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche [LUKE, spoken] Oh, we're all friends here. Come on, give it a shot [PERCY] My mom was named Sally She loved scary movies And food that was blue And- [KATIE, spoken] He's doing it wrong [SILENA, spoken] Yeah, who's your godly parent? [PERCY, spoken] Oh... I don't know [LUKE, spoken] It's alright A lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent. Just give it a try [PERCY] So my dad is some god That's great I guess Did he not want me? Or not want the stress? Too bad he's the worst, and my life is a mess Oh no [ENSEMBLE cheers] I hope he shows even a trace 'Cause I got some choice words to throw in his face! [ALL] Oh, things couldn't be worse When your parents run the universe Oh, things couldn't be worse [LUKE] But I don't care where our parents may be As long as you are here with me [ALL] We don't care where our parents may be As long as you are here with me As long as you are here with me!