Lyrics

Let's be honest: We're brought out to seek humour, intelligence, grace Decency and wisdom but when it comes to the chase All that counts is the body… and the face One girl is cute, one has top rate passes A great personality but teeth and glasses Incredibly bright but incredibly thin With frizzy hair and terrible skin Nobody wants the plain friend Nobody wants the plain friend You pretend to defend while it's easy to depend on But they go home alone in the end One boy is built like an Olympic athlete With pecs and muscles and wings on his feet The other is nice and loyal and fat Do you really want to be involved in that? Nobody wants the plain friend Nobody wants the plain friend You pretend to defend while it's easy to depend on But they go home alone in the end One lady's shrivel and gorgeous and flirty A Venus de Milo whose morals are dirty The other is sweet and behaves like a nun She knows how to pray but not how to have fun Nobody wants the plain friend Nobody wants the plain friend You pretend to defend while it's easy to depend on But they go home alone in the end One guy is handsome and grinning with brawn The other will chatter from sunset till dawn The one with the brain is so stimulating But he's not the one you end up dating Nobody wants the plain friend Nobody wants the plain friend You pretend to defend while it's easy to depend on But they go home alone in the end Nobody wants the plain friend Nobody wants the plain friend You pretend to defend while it's easy to depend on But they go home alone in the end Nobody wants the plain friend Nobody wants the plain friend You pretend to defend while it's easy to depend on But they go home alone in the end