Paris in Court

Lyrics

[THERSITES, spoken] Ahem, um, excuse me? [MENELAUS] I left warning No one was to disturb us So why this intrusion? It seems even the simplest of orders Can cause you three morons confusion You better have a damn good reason [THERSITES, spoken] Uh, this is, uh, beggar here, yeah He woke us on our watch while we were sleeping [MENELAUS, spoken] What? [SINON, spoken] Sorry sire, he really means the watch that we were vigilantly keeping [THERSITES, spoken] What watch? [SINON, spoken] The watch.....OUR watch… [THERSITES, spoken] Watch what? [MENELAUS] Watch how fast you half-wits Get to clean out all the stables [MENELAUS, spoken] Now, get out [SINON, spoken] Thank you, your majesty [ACHILLES, spoken] So, who's this, Agamemnon? Anothеr one of your impartial guests? [AGAMEMNON, spoken] I've no idеa [PATROCLUS, spoken] I see he's come dressed for the occasion [AJAX, spoken] He's not one of my men [PATROCLUS, spoken] Men? More like a boy [AGAMEMNON] Well, speak up boy By what right do you enter here in your tatters When we are discussing matters of state That can't wait What could be so damn important [AGAMEMNON, spoken] Well? [PATROCLUS, spoken] He probably wants to throw the dice [PARIS] I've come on an errand of peace from my people To the leaders of this mighty nation In search of trade and friendship [ACHILLES, spoken] There's precious few friends here [PARIS] It seems most provident that I should find you All gathered here on this occasion For the honor bestowed on me I am your humble servant Paris Son of Priam, the reigning king of Troy [ACHILLES] A prince of Troy Dressed like that? [PATROCLUS] Hey did you bring your army, boy? Are they also in rags [MENELAUS] A poor imposter I've seen more royal looking tramps than you [ULYSSES, spoken] To gain entry by disguise is an excellent ploy I shall remember that, prince of Troy [ULYSSES] Don't laugh too loudly, my friends He's real Look on his hand Priam's seal [SEVERAL WHISPERS] What? I don't believe it [AGAMEMNON] Well then If we're to have such an honored guest Arrange food and chambers Give him the best It's a strange coincidence, you must agree We were just talking about our neighbors Across the sea So when you've rested and bathed And regained your senses You must tell us of your people Your culture Your trade Your defenses [AGAMEMNON, spoken] Is anything wrong, prince of Troy? [ACHILLES, spoken] He looks as though he's seen a ghost [PATROCLUS, spoken] He's probably stunned by Agamemnon's wit Or Menelaus' wife [PARIS] Surely you Greeks are a chosen race To have a goddess reside in this place [PATROCLUS, whispered] Watch this [PATROCLUS, spoken] Uh, your throw, Agamemnon? [AGAMEMNON] Well, we'll arrange for you to meet her in person I'm sure she won't mind Even a goddess can spare some time [AGAMEMNON, spoken] Show him his chambers [ACHILLES, spoken] Ah, very intelligent Make sure he's neat and tidy before you slit his throat [PATROCLUS, spoken] Well, he wouldn't want to get his knife dirty Would he? [HELEN] And I thought you were a king, Menelaus Well, you be a party to this stupid plan He's a Trojan prince And you've made him your guest I shall go if you ask But there's danger in a game That mocks Aphrodite And abuses her name [AGAMEMNON, spoken] She even sounds like Aphrodite [HELEN] You've toyed with the balance Of power from the start You embrace your black mind, Agamemnon Beware the heart [MENELAUS] Helen? [ULYSSES] Menelaus She makes good sense, your wife War also involves the taking of life And you can't sail off for parts unknown And leave yourself to rebellion at home And if prince Paris represents those who rule Think that Troy is a nation of grinning fools And surely Athena, the goddess of order Will not be a party to mindless slaughter Yes, there may be gold, and slaves, and even more And I know you've defeated them once before But they'll have walls and armaments And they'll be ready this time [ULYSSES & AGAMEMNON, overlapping] You can be sure [AGAMEMNON] This Trojan isn't all he seems I've heard whispers at night Infesting my dreams The gods are choosing their sides up now And we will toll the bell Only time will tell