​so it begins (interlude)

Song Meaning

Johnny Orlando's "so it begins (interlude)" isn't a fully formed song as much as it is a raw, exposed nerve. The cyclical, almost claustrophobic lyrics point toward a crisis of self, a moment where the familiar crumbles and leaves only echoing uncertainty. The repetition of "Sometimes it hurts to keep falling / Sometimes it feels like I'm gonna drown" acts as a mantra of despair, not just a statement of sadness. It suggests a pattern, a loop of self-inflicted or externally imposed pain that the speaker can't seem to break free from. The question "Am I keepin' it down?" reveals a struggle with emotional suppression. The shift from "Am I keepin' it down?" to "I'm not keeping it down" is subtle but crucial. It marks a potential turning point, a reluctant acknowledgement that the facade is cracking, that the carefully constructed dam is about to burst. Orlando captures the agonizing pre-burst moment perfectly. The raw anxiety is palpable, like the feeling of trying to hold back tears when you know they're coming. The final lines, "I don't know you anymore / Who are you keeping score? / I don't know / I don't know," are the real gut punch. They suggest a fractured relationship, not necessarily romantic, but perhaps with a friend, family member, or even the speaker's own sense of self. The question of 'keeping score' hints at a power dynamic, a feeling of being judged or measured, leading to a profound sense of alienation and self-doubt. The repeated "I don't know" is not just ignorance; it's an existential scream into the void.