The Great Figure 8 Race

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I was hanging around the racetrack, watching the figure 8's Bunch of beat-up ol' stock cars a-whizzing through the gates When this joker, he walks over and give me the big eye Says, "You a racing driver or just passing by?" I told him I was a drifter, just traveling through I drove a few jalopies, not many, that is true So he says that he's a sponsor, but his driver got laid up Wondered if I'd like to help him take a shot at the golden cup [Chorus] Figure 8's, figure 8's, don't go near them figure 8's Tell you, buddy, if you do, they'll be the death of you [Verse 2] So I told him I was willing, but I'd never tried before He says, "Nothing to it, just keep the [???] feet on the floor" So he took me down to the pits to a beat-up pile of tin Says, "That's your baby, let's see you bring her in" They gave me a dozen laps just to sort of get the feel Test the brakes and the seat belts and the two-bit steering wheel Then the starter yelled, "Line up for the feature of the day" The famous figure 8 was almost underway [Chorus] Figure 8's, figure 8's, don't go near them figure 8's Tell you, buddy, if you do, they'll be the death of you [Verse 3] Now, the noise of all them engines nearly caved my eardrums in Next thing I know, we're rolling, let the figure 8 begin We revved 'em up to 50, circled the track a time or two The flag went down, a roar went up, man, I'm telling you Never seen nothing like it, cars whizzing in and out Coming at you in all directions, ain't no way to cut out Sideswiped me a Chevy, bounced off a yeller Ford Locked axles with a Plymouth as the motors roared and roared Three laps, I'm in 4th position with a Buick creeping up Now, if I can get her up to 80, I'm a cinch to take the cup Eight laps, the motor's smoking, tires unraveling, too Engine started missing, Lordy, what's to do? Three cars up there in front make a line and jump the track Looks like that leaves ol' John here as the leader of the pack Gave her all she had and I'm a-gunning for the X Everybody comes together, one passes and I go next But when I reached the middle, took a broadside from a Merc' Tin flew in all directions and I eat two tons of dirt That's about all I remember, that was my crowning day And honest, Saint Peter, it happened exactly that way [Chorus] Figure 8's, figure 8's, don't go near them figure 8's Tell you, buddy, if you do, they'll be the death of you