When the Beatles Hit America

Lyrics

[Intro] Two, alright [Verse 1] Due to a miracle marketing strategy Beyond the realms of reasonable possibility It is announced simultaneously On radio, DAT, compact disc and TV That John, Paul, George and Ringo They're going to be reforming as The Beatles in 1993 (I got that bit wrong) [Verse 2] And things skip into action immediately George buys the film rights in a flurry of activity And Paul says they're not going to play Japan Ringo cancels his five-year chat show plan And John, who was never the quiet one John stays silent for the time being [Chorus] And the world sings When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America It's gonna be sponsored by Private Issue, Ringo's credit card When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America [Verse 3] And lawyers start to draw up large contracts Involving sponsorship, t-shirt deals, and Michael Jackson They're interviewed on live TV About management deals and corporate policy Who's gonna be the new manager of The Beatles? (Well, I updated this bit) The new manager's gonna be Robert Shapiro and Johnny Cochrane And George says he's not even, even gonna play Unless they bring the Maharishi [Verse 4] Well, the Fab Four are interviewed on live TV But for some reason they're just the Fab Three With a cardboard cutout of John Wearing a very strange smile with no shoes on Which starts a libelous "John is Dead" rumour Which Rolling Stone reveals is just hype for the tour (Well done, boys) [Chorus] The world sings When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America Sponsored by Pizza Hut—Crust First When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America [Bridge] Well, The Who, The Stones, Debbie Gibson and Diana Ross Record a supergroup single at very great cost But it's so hard to make the charts 'Cause everyone's taken the new Beatles to heart From the time of the announcement of the gig To the gig on Che Stadium (Named, as all you Rutles fans know, after the Cuban guerrilla Che Stadium) Every record on the top forty on both sides of the Atlantic For three whole years is written by Lennon and McCartney Except "Something" That's the only one by George Harrison anybody can remember [Verse 5] Finally they get into the studio—guess what? They're gonna be co-produced by George Martin and Jeff Lynne And Ringo's disappointed to find that No one needs him anymore except for the vibe Because he's now been sampled You can download it off your computer [Verse 6] Yeah, George gets Monty Python in to do some vocals And Linda takes a lot of photos For a book that gets sold out Before she even thought of putting it out And John, who was never the quiet one Makes all his press contributions from his old songs In tune, in time But with a new backing track recorded behind him When they ask him how it's been in the studio He says, well, "It's been a hard day's night" No one understands him, but he always was the cryptic one [Chorus] When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America [Verse 7] And finally the record hits the shelves And it's called "The Beatle—From Ourselves" And for anyone who didn't realize or know It sounded a lot like ELO Or ELP, or FYC, or XTC, or REM, or BTO, or PIL, or YMO But it didn't sound much like PSI Didn't sound much like "P. S. I Love You" [Verse 8] And the day before the big gig at Che The rumour goes round People are saying that they're not going to play That the whole thing's been a big insurance scam To get the Apple reissues selling again Very cynical [Bridge] But suddenly we're over in the stadium We're live on MTV, BBC, CNN Not anymore, actually, now it'd be a pay-per-view And Wolf Blitzer's there, and Bernard Shaw is there for CNN He's going, "I'm under the table at Che Stadium" And the lights go down and the, and the screaming stops And suddenly you can hear a pin drop [Verse 9] Yeah, suddenly they're there All four of them And I get scared As they go into "I Saw Her Standing There" They crash through the best set in the world And they encore with the whole of Sergeant Pepper's In order, and they're gods And I'm in heaven The Beatles have reunited [Verse 10] But on the very last chord of "A Day in the Life" The Beatles are beamed off into outer space Into a waiting spaceship, folks Which takes them to a better place A place where reunions are not expected of anybody Not even The Eagles, thank God and [Verse 11] This is my dream I bought it I bought the product And now I'm happy You can believe what you like But it happened That's all folks It'll probably happen again And sadly [Chorus] When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America They're gonna be supported by The Velvet Underground When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America [Outro] One more time for MTV, yeah When the Beatles hit America When the Beatles hit America Thank you. I should put that on an album one day, I guess.