Top of the Bottom (Live)

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I started playing guitar by the town memorial All my songs were singing editorials And when I'd done the Sermon on the Mount I counted my change, put it in my bank account I didn't like the look of the local abattoir So I left home, expanded my repertoire I did some gigs, no one booed I got free beer and I drank it with gratitude Once I started, I couldn't stop [Refrain] That's how I got from the bottom to the top [Verse 2] Well, a businessman with a very young dolly bird Talked through the set, liked what he thought he heard Dropped some names he claimed to represent And asked me if I had any management Two weeks later, I'm signing on a dotted line Offered some drugs, at first I declined Lots of parties where the spread's incredible But don't get close, man, the food's inedible I became a spinning top [Chorus] And that's how I got from the bottom to the top [Verse 3] I got a sweet deal and I moved to America I fell in love with an heiress called Erica Started out smart, soon got silly A party by the pool and an arrest for necrophilia News travels fast like electricity A bad mugshot, it's good publicity I laid low for a month or two And spent my dough building a recording studio And that's when it all went pop [Refrain] And that's how I got from the bottom to the top of the bottom [Verse 4] My label and payola got me in the charts My new management had me by the private parts Went on strike, took the initiative Forgetting that I didn't have a single chip to bargain with I lost my nerve, my fall was glorious The lawsuit was eternal and laborious My new material was only fair-to-middling Rome was burning and I did some fiddling Finally, I was dropped [Refrain] And that's how I got from the bottom to the top of the bottom [Verse 5] Well, on the way down, people tend to leave you where you fall I tried to stand up but I didn't have the wherewithal I nearly died in a cab one day So I swapped my bourbon for a bottle full of Perrier There were rumours about my sexuality Video star, killed by reality Next thing I know, I'm on my knees I'm begging the camera, will you vote me off the island please? But the world forgives a flop [Refrain] That's how I got from the bottom to the top of the bottom [Verse 6] Well, all that exposure and the phones start to ring again I experience the strange urge to sing again Not long ago, I was a boy with a dream I reacquaint myself with a razor and some shaving cream Look at me, I'm ripe for rediscovery All I need is Mary to mother me On the tenth green, I was way over par My partner offered me a tour in Jesus Christ Superstar And that's when the penny dropped [Refrain] That's how I got from the bottom to the top of the bottom [Verse 7] Well, we toured all over the States of America I got a picture of my son from Erica My parents wrote, "Since you disappeared Hard to believe, but it's just been one year" Now it's back to ale and cakes again I wonder if I'll make the same mistakes again I hope that you've enjoyed this tutorial There's another young man playing the memorial I'm getting bored of talking shop [Refrain] That's how I got from the bottom to the top of the bottom To the top of the bottom To the top of the bottom