On My Bedside Table

Lyrics

On my bedside table is a note From Stephen Sondheim And a pair of wire glasses And the lyric to a new song Which I'll never play for you Because it's far too sentimental And I don't want you to think I care Enough to write a mushy love song Now that you and I are really through Oh by the way two bills are also there One for the cable which has really kept me sane Throughout our breakup Damn I swore I wouldn't dwell upon our breakup Well, the other is my visa bill A little heaviеr with all the junk I bought to kill the pain To fill the spacе until I face the fact That you and I are definitely through There's my talking clock that's set To get me off to work the new job You don't know I got It's not impressive It won't make you think I'm doing well without you Actually, I'm not so hot I can barely hack it And there are those earplugs I still wear To help sleep tightly through the nightly New York racket Did you find one recently? Did it make you think of me? And cry so hard you couldn't see I hope so! Oh, but it really shouldn't matter I also fondly hope you're growing fatter There's a lamp that never makes me think of you We didn't shop for it together And you never put the lampshade on your head It's by the bed so I can see To fill my journal with the three zillion reasons why we're better off apart Or rather why I'm better off without you You, of course, have lost the greatest catch you'll ever have And you will realize how much you care And languish in complete despair Until your dying day Which won't be soon because you're so damn healthy With your veggie diet And your yoga which I tried that time I had that awful cold It nearly killed me But I did it to impress you Since I never did believe that you could love me just for me On my bedside table There are three stones which I'm told Have healing energy They say you have to touch them all the time Or they'll disintegrate I feel like I'll disintegrate If someone doesn't touch me soon But there were years before I met you And I have my note from Sondheim And my cable and my visa And my talking clock and earplugs And my healing stones and journal To unwind me and remind me That I always have myself And I always have the lyric to a new song And a lamp that never makes me think of you You, you, you