Health & Safety

Lyrics

[Verse 1] We're not marching off to war We're marching on one spot We make so bold as to do just what we're told Ask us what we're frightened of, we'll answer, "What yer got?" Corporal Cook has got a cough Sergeant Smith feels sad I do me best to get through every test But something's wrong, I'm feeling strong Perhaps I'm going mad [Pre-Chorus] Try to get a grip, relax the upper lip Keep it gloomy and be glad [Chorus] Health and safety is your only wealth Chide me, chafe me, save me from meself I'm thе scum, I'm the fool Wants me mum, give mе someone to send me back to school Health and safety, what's it all about? Put that pint down, stub the gasper out Knock me down, lock me down, strewth and flippin' 'eck It's always the working man gets it in the neck [Verse 2] When we go out on patrol We keep ourselves in check No time to free a cat stuck up a tree You might get fleas or allergies or fall and break your neck Don't jump off that riverbank To save a drowning man Think what you'd get, apart from soaking wet Might as well jump from the fire into the frying pan [Pre-Chorus] Stay just slightly stressed, you know it's for the best They're always going to have a plan [Chorus] Health and safety is your only wealth Chide me, chafe me, save me from meself I'm the scum, I'm the fool Wants me mum, give me someone to send me back to school Health and safety, what's it all about? Put that pint down, stub the gasper out Knock me down, lock me down, strewth and flippin' 'eck It's always the working man gets it in the neck [Bridge] So count yourself as blessed 'Cause they know what is best They're always going to have a plan Well, aren't they? [Chorus] Health and safety is your only wealth Chide me, chafe me, save me from meself Knock me down, lock me down, strewth and flippin' 'eck It's always the working man gets it in the neck