Poker in the Sky

Lyrics

[Intro: Joe Budden & Joe's Grandfather] Not too good, Joe. Not too good. [?]. No appetite, losing weight. In the bed, out the bed. I tell it like it is. Nothin' I can do about it So who's runnin' the poker games? I don't know. [?] did a good job and he's retired. I don't have the game I used to have. I'm giving up competing You can't, you can't give up, you can't give up poker [Verse] Just tryna explain the unexplainable More than tryna attain the unattainable, try and make it sustainable Collectin' all the parts, see if they interchangeable Killin' me slow, but I'm glad it's entertainin' you Every day it amaze me The same thinkin' that pay me the same thinkin' that plagues me How can I think I'm crazy? Sway me 'Cause to profit off of shit that aches me is actually pretty wavy Uh, I'm paintin' the perfect picture Only perfect 'cause the imperfections are highlighted To gross currency off of that kinda sickness Changes the meaning of mind my business Givin' what was given to me So the soldiers come over unsober and call me Yoda instead of Joseph I be like "why they come to me for advice?" They should really come to me for a vice, I got 'em all Got a counter full of liquor, pocket full of pills The illusion of control, I can tell you how it feels Accounts full of paper and the women I play with All got criminal bodies, innocent faces Come around and we have a ball, could have it all Well, I ran out of Adderall, but that's a matter of a call, check it Odds is they start tellin' me they hardships Regardless, they end up wantin' hard dick, aww shit You would think they'd been ordained Got her legs in the air, she screamin' the Lord's name I'm feedin' her more game, more game, more game I started fuckin' her mind, that's when all them thoughts came She keep sayin' if I want her I should fight for her My plight for her, says I don't know if I'm right for her Even so know there's a fire I ignite for her Starin' at her ceiling, seeing me like I'm a nightcrawler Uh, it's like she love me, but she don't (Word) That's when she lose me, that's when she confuse me It's what I get appalled wit', can't call it She think I should remove her hurt since I installed it But, I wish she knew I was perturbed too Birds view, it hurt me more knowin' I hurt you Even though it exists I don't ever bring it up We don't be doin' nothin', but it's everything to us Presently she bring up the past and it's filthy You not talkin' to who I was or who I will be But that's my own assignment You wanna take all the feelings and the time spent and give it realignment Check the catalog, lateral God I self-sabotage, I'd explain further, but I'd rather not (Talk to 'em) Salute, on me, everybody have a shot I do it for the niggas they said wouldn't have a shot But some days are better than some days Still yet here I stand on numb legs Women don't give a fuck that I have these scars I'm fuckin' the same hoes that the athletes are What a rollercoaster, we argued and we sexed (Uh) Face in her box, James Harden in her texts Nigga from the Clippers e'ry mornin' text her "good mornin'" She be sleep, he just be talkin' to me, my nigga None of this is a pain to see I only care about her if she pertains to me Shit, I'm tendin' to emergencies with urgency That urge in me is my daily fight in her purgin' me Fuck hoes, I ain't got time to be sprung now Grandpa's cancer just made it to his lungs now In 2012, docs gave him few months; wild He's alive somehow, outlived 2 sons, wow So now their observation Says he'll die quicker with chemo and radiation He ain't strong enough to even go through operation Know that death's comin', he just in the house waitin' So you tellin' me there ain't a way to fix the shit? Or is grandpa too old for you to give a shit? Let's switch the shit, give you my predicament Wonder how you would feel if I was tellin' yours live with it And it's travelin' to his heart soon Of course it all hit me like a harpoon I was in shock and then it was all clearer When he called me and asked me to be his pallbearer I was floored But then the next second was back to being self-centered, self-absorbed And it became about me, fought it off long enough I could help carry your weight, but I ain't strong enough But why do I have to be? This the shit I be naturally askin' me, I'm such a catastrophe See me breakin' down with my father in back of me So for me to attend, I'm tryna think of a strategy But I'm happy for my dad (Why?) He was incarcerated when his mama didn't make it So for him to get that chance again with you Means the world, he could be there 'til it end for you And me (What?), I bleed out through this pen for you Can't carry this around, gotta vent, it's due 'Cause now, grandpa'll be closer to his wife Have cards when I come, we playin' poker in the sky [Outro: Joe Budden & Joe's Grandfather] [?] You—you'll get it back [?] Would you like to be a pallbearer? That's something to think about. Yeah, I'm not [?] Good to hear from you anyway. Take care All right. You know I'll see you soon, Grandad Oh, okay. Bye