I Love a Little Town

Lyrics

[Darryl] Whoa! There's nothing I enjoy so much as somewhere tucked away That's the same from day to day Where nothing seems to happen But the gums are always flapping A town that might attract you, not with what so much as who With nothing to distract you Such as things to, well, to do City life's impossible, and wholly out of touch Four-star restaurants and such No, the grub at these here parties Beats the pants off lunch at Sardies Sure, some say life is gloomy in a place of no renown Well, call me hick and sue me, but I love a little town Yes, Ma'am [Darryl, Townspeople] I love a little town [Darryl] I love the little streets and I love those little houses And goddamn [Darryl, Townspeople] I love the little life [Darryl] Sure the small townfolk are flighty, but holy crap, christ almighty [Darryl, Townspeople] I love a little town [Brenda] (Spoken) Now, Mr. Van Horne, your language! [Darryl] (Spoken) Oh, come on, this isn't a real church, you guys are Methodists, right? [Brenda] (Spoken) Oh! [Darryl] I'm telling you, a little town's the place you gotta be There's always stuff to see No picture show's a showin' But by god that grass keeps growing No lights that might attract you, but in fact, where things ain't bright, well (Spoken) A man can look and actually see the stars at night Like bright little pinpricks in the black velvety darkness, and oh, my god that's probably the extent of nightlife in this godforsaken pit! Christ-al-freaking-mighty, what have I gotten myself into? Why don't you just take a gun right now and shoot me right between the - [Townspeople] (Spoken] GASP [Darryl] (Spoken) I'm so sorry, you're still here, aren't you? (Sung) Yes, Ma'am [Darryl, Townspeople] I love a little town [Darryl] I love the little streets and I love those little houses And goddamn [Darryl, Townspeople] I love the little life [Darryl] Sure the small townsfolk are flighty, but holy crap, Christ almighty [Darryl, Townspeople] I love a little town [Felecia] That's all very well, Mr. Van Horne, but what about the wetlands? What about the egrets? What about their plight? You talk about right, Mr. Van Horne, but what about the order? Why upset the natural order? What about the egrets? [Darryl] (Spoken) Honey, T ... U ... F ... F Tuff [Felecia] (Spoken) Tough? [Darryl] (Spoken) Titty [Felecia] (Spoken) Mr. Van Horne - [Darryl] (Spoken) Mrs. Gabriel, I happen to be a firm believer in shaking up the natural order from time to time Keeps the critters on their toes [Felecia] (Spoken) The animals we're talking about don't have toes They have talons, Mr. Van Horne They have claws [Darryl] (Spoken) Oh, and honey, don't I know it! [Felecia] (Spoken) Mr. Van Horne - [Darryl] And now, my friends and neighbors, a toast if you'd allow me Before we eat our Ho-Ho's and drink our Kool-Aid down I love this little party like I love you little people And I love [Townspeople] He says he loves [Darryl, Townspeople] A little town [Darryl] (Spoken) Bottoms up