So I Ups to Him

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I was walking down Park Avenue the other day I was whistling [?] A fellow who was coming in the opposite direction He bumped right into me-a I didn't say nothing, I was gonna keep on going Don't you think, he turned around and said, "Why don't you look where you're going?" I stood aghast as it wasn't my fault Then he pushed me off the sidewalk onto the asphalt [Chorus] So I ups to him and he ups to me Then I ups to him and I said I said it was his fault He said it was my fault I said it was his fault He said, "If you don't like it I'll punch right in the proboscis" [Verse 2] I was so mad I was frothing at the kneecaps So I ups to him and he ups to me But I don't do nothing, I just use my attitude, see? Then I said, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, Mack" You might look like a lumberjack But you can't bulldoze me And with that to show him who was boss I puts a chip on my should and says "Knock it off, knock it off" Fivе minutes later the chip was still thеre But the shoulder was gone [Verse 3] So I ups to him again and he ups to me again So I goes my way and he goes my way Well, exhausted, fatigued and tired too I stopped into a nearby pharmacy for my daily vitamins I was munching vitamin A, B, C and D And was getting down to E, F, G and H When I feels a tap on my shoulder and saying "Have one on me, partner" Thinking it was the same chump I whirls around quick as a flash, I ups to him When I finds myself face-to-face with a westerner, a tough umbrae So I stops upping to him and I says, "Pardon me, stranger A stone got in my shoe You needn't to start a-cussin', I haven't done anything to you" Recognizing the drawl in my voice, he asks me where I hails from And when I says, "[?], Tombstone, Phoenix, Arizona" He hits me with his leather boot, blackens my eye Knocks me down, picks me up Knocks me down, picks me up But I kept smiling through it all I had to smile, he has his fist in my mouth So I left him to his own resources [Verse 4] Now the scene changes, three years has elapsed I've grown a perfect toupee and I've prospered I'm laying on the beach at Waikiki, just a millionaire on the loose When I feel someone tickling me on the nose And a voice singing a la Caruso It was, "I remember you Say, brother, I remember you Say, you're the fellow with a big smeller I remember" After three years, who comes back to tournament me? Knock the shoulder off McNulty So I ups to him and he ups to me So I goes my way and he goes the way of all flesh