Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of a hazy, possibly intoxicated exit from a social gathering, marked by a sense of awkwardness and a desire to escape. The narrator is ready to leave the "party," needing to "charge my Juul" and finish off drinks, suggesting a state of disengagement. The phrase "Faux pas in my friend's apartment" and the subsequent "exit through the garden" imply a clumsy, perhaps slightly embarrassing departure, wanting to slip away unnoticed.
The core of the song seems to revolve around a fluctuating perception of another person, addressed later as "Joscelin." The repeated refrain, "But I'll change my mind about you / And I'll change my mind," highlights an internal indecision and a wavering opinion. This isn't a stable feeling; it's a constant state of revision, suggesting a complex or perhaps frustrating relationship dynamic where certainty is elusive.
The narrator then shifts to describing "you" as an "artist / Pregnant with a shelf of hardbacks," a striking image that contrasts intellectual or creative potential with a sense of being overwhelmed or stuck. The question, "You're awake, why are you still dreaming? / And getting anxious in the supermarket," points to a disconnect between this person's inner world and their outward experience, perhaps a struggle with anxiety or unrealized ambition. The mention of "blossom on your running shoes" is particularly evocative, juxtaposing the ephemeral beauty of nature with the practical, perhaps hurried, act of running, hinting at a surreal or disoriented state.
Ultimately, these lyrics capture a feeling of emotional drift and internal conflict. The narrator's own desire to leave and their shifting thoughts about another person create a sense of unease. The vivid, slightly surreal imagery, like the blossom on running shoes, grounds the abstract feelings of indecision and anxiety in concrete, memorable details, making the emotional landscape feel both specific and strangely universal.