Christmas Mass (Live)

Lyrics

[Spoken] Anyway I went to midnight mass, and I hadn't been in a long time So we were at the back of the church and we went up for communion And I, I wanted to really, you know, do it right Because I hadn't been for a long time I, I wouldn't go into churches for a long time because I would get so emotional and I never knew why I would just feel this huge pain in my heart And I didn't know what was happening And so I wouldn't go in there any more And, uh, but I went this one night So I thought, I'll go up to the front And I'll connect with the, the minister, or whatever And so, I went up I was the first out of four people And I wеnt up and watching everyone еlse do it And I go up and look at him And he leans forward to me and he says, "Christ's blood did shit for us" I said, "Pardon?" And he leaned forward again, looking very confused And he said, "Christ's blood did shit for us." And I thought, "Oh my God" My face went bright red I thought, "A madman has infiltrated the church And on a one-to-one basis he is spreading the devil's word" So my heart was pounding and I walked to the back of the church And I'm sitting in my pew And, and I watched everyone else take communion And they looked very normal when they came back And they sat down beside me and I said, "What did he say to you?" And my friend, who hadn't been to church in a long time— It was his church— Said, "Oh, guilt trip. He said 'Nice to have you with us.'" And I said "Really?" I said, "What did he say to you?" That was my friend's mother And she said, "Oh, well, you know, this is a late service He said, 'I'm working the night shift.'" And I said finally—this is a true story— And the last person I said, "What did he say to you?" And she said, "What he always says" Do you know what that was? Christ's blood is shed for us Was shed for us Christ's blood was shed for us That is a true story There's no punch line It's a true story But, you know, I almost, you know Felt I could agree with him in a certain way In my more bitter moments I don't think anyone ever had said "Pardon?" before to the minister Anyway, I'd like to introduce Phillip Brown Who has joined us for just this last, um, Christmas show He's going to sing a song for you