Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of someone grappling with a new emotional experience, possibly love, which feels alien and disorienting. The initial Japanese phrase, "恋をして その過去を 捨てて" (Falling in love, discarding that past), sets a tone of radical change and perhaps a painful severance from what came before. This is immediately juxtaposed with the English lines, "But when I take these numbers as they are / I'm greeted with a senseless feeling in my heart." The "numbers" could represent data, logic, or a pre-existing framework that fails to account for this new, "senseless" emotion, suggesting a conflict between rational understanding and raw feeling.
The central tension arises from this clash between the internal, emotional upheaval and the external attempt to process it. The narrator feels "undefined" and "defeated" by this new state, yet simultaneously entertains the possibility of "redesign" leading to completion and sublimity. This suggests a struggle to integrate the experience, a desire to control or redefine it to make sense, even as the feeling itself defies easy categorization. The parenthetical "(l won't take it back this time)" signals a commitment to this new, albeit confusing, path.
The most striking aspect is the contrast between the seemingly cold, analytical language of "numbers" and "redesign" and the deeply personal, emotional "senseless feeling in my heart." The lyrics propose a way to move forward not by erasing the feeling, but by attempting to "redesign" the self or the situation to accommodate it. The final Japanese phrase, "泣きたくなっても それでも かき集め" (Even if I want to cry, still gather it all up), reinforces this idea of resolute perseverance, urging the narrator to collect and hold onto these fragmented, overwhelming emotions despite the pain.