Pinocchio in Vegas

Lyrics
[Verse 1] Pinocchio's in Vegas with his eye on the prize He's a real boy now, his dick grows when he lies But his face stays frozen like it's still made of wood It displays no emotion as he cleans 'em out good At that back room table, most any Friday night He don't even need the money, he's just in it out of spite [Verse 2] And he misses old Geppetto, gone now two years The boy's spendin' real money, and he's cryin' real tears You'd've thought it'd've been a straight and simple untaxеd estate It was nearly out of probatе when it blew up in his face There were whispers in the shadows, all around the town Heretofore unknown relations, old Geppetto got around [Chorus 1] Who were my grandmother's friends? Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten Who were the neighbors next door? When I was still crawlin' on the floor [Verse 3] When the claims came to light, Pinocchio was blue The lawyers had a field day, just like they always do First, they tried to fleece him for a rainbow's worth of gold He had to sue Walt Disney over copyright control He got less than he wanted, more than they'd a-give Both sides are bitter, both sides'll live [Chorus 2] Who were my grandmother's friends? Used to take me fishin', every now and then Who were the neighbors next door? Who all did we lose in the war? [Bridge] Snappin' peas on that front porch step Come and take 'em watermelon rinds Toss 'em over the horse-lot fence Go wash up and quit that cryin' [Verse 4] Pinocchio is over it, he don't beat up on himself He's had to learn to be an asshole, just like everybody else Where the dogs eat the dogs and the cats eat the mice You pick a hill to die on, don't bother acting nice 'Cause that won't serve you well at the end of the day They don't have to come and take it if you give it all away [Chorus 3] Who were my grandmother's friends? Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten Who were the neighbors next door? When I was still crawlin' on the floor Who were my grandmother's friends? They used to take me fishin', every now and then Who were the neighbors next door? I can't call you up and ask you anymore
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Credits
- Writers
- James McMurtry