Off the Record

Lyrics

[PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT] It's really a wonderful job For fellows like George, Abe, and me, too It's great to shake hands with a mob And to hold every kid on your knee, too Every word that I speak goes in the headlines When I speak, all the papers hold their deadlines But I've found a way of dropping a hint Or a glint Of the truth that the boys cannot print For instance For instance When I was courting Eleanor, I told her uncle Teddy I wouldn't run for president unless the job was steady Don't print it—it's strictly off the record We entertained the royalty, but we were never flustered We gave them Yankee hot dogs with Colman's English mustard Don't print it—it's strictly off the record It's pleasant at the White House, but I'll tell you how I feel The food is simply terrible, just sauerkraut and veal If Mrs. R would stay at home, I'd get a decent meal But that's off the record [Dance break.] When I go up to Hyde Park, it's not for just the ride there It's not that I like Hyde Park, but I love to park and hide there Don't print it—it's strictly off the record I sit up in my study writing gags for Mr. Ickes And insults for the gentlemen who'd love to slip him mickeys Don't print that—off the record [Dance break.] I scrapped the Prohibition Act when we required a bracer And finished up the Boulder Dam to give the boys a chaser Don't print it—it's strictly off the record And for my friends in Washington who complain about the taxes Who cares as long as we cannot be axed out of the Axis? Don't print it—it's strictly off the record I can't forget how Lafayette helped give us our first chance To win our fight for liberty, and now they've taken France We'll take it back from Hitler and put ants in his Japants And that's for the record