Roommates

Lyrics

[SALLY, spoken] Well, I mean, if you hadn't come to the Kit Kat Klub And been so dreadfully attractive And recited poetry and whisked me off— [SALLY] I've a superb idea I do get the best ideas The longer you know me the more you'll discover I do get the best ideas I know what I'll do, I'll make a prairie oyster Darling, that's exactly what you need Nothing is diviner than a prairie oyster Satisfaction fully guaranteed [SALLY, spoken] I practically live on them It's just a raw egg whooshed around with some Worcestershire sauce And it's heaven for a hangover [CLIFF, spoken] I haven't got a hangover [SALLY] On the morning after take a prairie oyster Suddenly the mind and I are clear You haven't any eggs, oh Cliff, it's all too boring Oh, never mind, I've got a few in here [CLIFF, spoken] That's quite a coat [SALLY, spoken] It should be, it cost me all I had Little did I dream how soon I'd be unemployed at the Klub [CLIFF, spoken] Dear Max? [SALLY, spoken] Oh, Cliff, you're so divinely understanding, I adore you I do hope I'm not going to fall madly in love with you Though I believe a woman can't be a truly great actress Until she's had several passionate affairs and had her heart broken [SALLY] Here you are, my darling, it's a prairie oyster Sally's blend of Worcestershire and egg What's a proper toast on this profound occasion? I know, "Hals- und Beinbruch!"—break a neck and leg! [SALLY, spoken] It's supposed to prevent it happening Though I doubt that it actually does [CLIFF, spoken] Hals- und Beinbruch, Sally [SALLY, spoken] Oh, Cliff, isn't it perfectly marvelous that we met? I mean, have you ever come across two people More ideally suited to one another? Here we are, just the perfect companions, the perfect partners The perfect roommates– [CLIFF, spoken] Roommates? [SALLY, spoken] I mean, if I were allowed to stay Think of it! You could write this fabulous letter back home to Wisconsin— [CLIFF, spoken] Pennsylvania [SALLY, spoken] Pennsylvania, and brag about me [SALLY] Dear Mother, Father, Uncle Jasper And everyone else in Harristown [CLIFF] Harrisburg... [SALLY] Harrisburg... I've some wonderful news to tell I've moved to Berlin And took someone in To live with me And it's working incredibly well My roommate is absolutely dear I'm seldom aware that she is here She's gentle, considerate and kind A better roommate I couldn't hope to find In addition, my roommate is stimulating too So helpful in everything I do By telling some stories that she knows She's got me writing a better brand of prose My room is a two by four But she doesn't ask more Than one little drawer (Even I can spare that) Yes, one day she magically arrived Since then I've blossomed, I've positively thrived Why, just last evening I looked about And I was hard put to figure out How in this wide world I ever lived without My roommate [CLIFF, spoken] Sally, listen No matter how sophisticated someone is and how civilized a society is They just can't accept a young attractive girl Moving in with a young single man I mean, it just isn't done, that's all [SALLY, spoken] You're absolutely right, Cliff, absolutely, I can't do it What I can do is sleep on a bench in the Tiergarten or somewhere Goodbye, Cliff [CLIFF, spoken] Sally... [CLIFF] This room is so cramped and small [SALLY] But think after all She's not very tall And skinny as well [CLIFF, spoken] Well, not too skinny [SALLY, spoken] Please, may I stay? [CLIFF, spoken] Ah, the hell with it [SALLY, spoken] Oh, Cliff [CLIFF] My roommate is absolutely dear [SALLY] You're absolutely right [CLIFF] I'm seldom aware she's even here [SALLY] Morning, noon and night [CLIFF] She's gentle, considerate and kind [SALLY & CLIFF] A better roommate You / I couldn't hope to find [SALLY] Your nameplate upon the door Was begging for Just six letters more Bradshaw dash Bowles [SALLY & CLIFF] We're roommates for all the world to see We're roommates [CLIFF] Miss Craziness and me [SALLY & CLIFF] We'll tell each neighbor whom it offends Only a damned fool misapprehends [SALLY] He's not my lover [CLIFF] We're barely even friends [SALLY & CLIFF] We're roommates [SALLY] Just roommates [CLIFF] Just roommates [SALLY & CLIFF] Roommates