Intermission Talk

Lyrics

[HERBIE] Lemonade! Freshly made! A bottle of ice cold Coke! [BORED PATRON] I love to go to a theatre lounge To enjoy a noisy smoke [HERBIE] Lemonade! Freshly made! [STARRY-EYED GIRL] I simply adore the show [BORED PATRON] I wouldn't wait for the second act If I had some place to go [MUSIC LOVER, spoken] I like the one that goes [MUSIC LOVER] Da-dee-da-dum Da-dee-da-dum Da-dee-da-dum Marriage type love [WIFE, to HUSBAND] I don't think it's right to be sulky all night Over one little bill from Saks! [BUSINESSMAN] What do I care if they balance the budget As long as they cut my tax? [MUSIC LOVER, spoken] I like the one that goes [MUSIC LOVER] No other love have I Hurry back home tonight It's me, it's me, it's me [HER COMPANION] That doesn't sound quite right [GIRL] The fellow beside me keeps dropping his program And groping around my feet [BORED PATRON] The couple behind me had garlic for dinner Would you like to trade your seat? [GIRL] I think the production is fine The music is simply divine The story is lovely and gay But it just isn't my kind of play [HAPPY MOURNERS] They don't write music any more Like the old Vienna valses The guy today who writes a score Doesn't know what schmaltz is The plots are all too serious No longer sweet and gay The authors who think Certainly stink The theatre is fading away Oh, the theatre is dying The theatre is dying The theatre is practically dead Someone every day writes "We have no more playwrights The theatre is sick in the head" Some singer of dirges Gets earnest and urges The public to have a good cry [HERBIE] But the show still goes on The theatre's not gone [HAPPY MOURNERS] We wish it would lie down and die Why in hell won't it lie down and die? [STARRY-EYED GIRL] I thought that I'd laugh myself silly On the evening I spent with Bea Lillie [BUSINESSMAN] I sure had to hassle and hustle Buying tickets for Rosalind Russell [ADELE] I just had a picnic at "Picnic" And loved everyone in the cast [HAPPY MOURNERS] Your talk is absurd Why, haven't you heard? The theatre's a thing of the past, tra-la The theatre's a thing of the past [STARRY-EYED GIRL] My love for my husband grew thinner The first time I looked at Yul Brynner And back in my bed on Long Island I kept dreaming of Brynner in Thailand [FIRST BUSINESSMAN] I love Shirley Booth and Tom Ewell [SECOND BUSINESSMAN] "The Crucible," boy, what a play [HAPPY MOURNERS] The poor little schmoes Not one of them knows The theatre is passing away, hey hey The theatre is passing away The theatre is dying, the theatre is dying The theatre is practically dead The ones who are backing it take a shellacking And never get out of the red [ALL THE REST] But actors keep acting And plays keep attracting And seats are not easy to buy And year after year There is something to cheer [HAPPY MOURNERS] We'd much rather have a good cry [ALL THE REST, spoken] Why the hell don't you lie down and die? [HAPPY MOURNERS] The theatre [ALL THE REST] Is living [HAPPY MOURNERS] The theatre [ALL THE REST] Is living [ALL] Why don't you lie down and die?