When I Die

Lyrics

[Bob Marley interview sample] [Verse 1: ILL Bill] I left you outside the gates of heaven, they wouldn't let me in I waved goodbye as you stepped within It's like Hell on Earth without you near I named my daughter after you so when she smiles It's sorta like you're still here It's kinda crazy how time flies Twenty-five years since my grandmoms died But it feels like just yesterday when we was all laughing together Those happy memories are so vivid, they'll last me forever And yet you're still here somehow, I still feel your presence I credit you for my inner strength, I feel it in my essence In my soul, in my inner being, in my genetics I wouldn't exist if you hadn't persisted through the trenches I wouldn't have been a lyricist, I owe you every sentence Every verse I've ever written, your energy is kinetic Though I've grown up, I'm still heartbroken, aching to cry Hoping you're the one holding open those gates when I die [Chorus: Tia Thomas] My guardian angel flies, these tears I cry Asking for mercy Oh, it hurts so deep inside, but I hear your cries Asking for mercy [Verse 2: ILL Bill] I left you outside the gates of heaven, they wouldn't let me in I waved goodbye as you stepped within It's like Hell on Earth without you near I named my label after you So when I rhyme it's sorta like you're still here It's been a year, still in shock about exactly what happened to you Made a song for you called "My Uncle" I was just rapping to you Just talking to you I just saw you at my mother's house I can't believe I just bought a coffin for you We always feared that you would die from an overdose God knows you loved to do drugs, it swallowed you whole But in the end, drugs didn't kill you, cancer did Why do good people die young? I don't know what the answer is All I know is I worshipped you as a scrappy kid Being around you made me feel cooler than rapping did And that's pretty fucking cool, trust me I was embarrassed when you started smoking crack Honestly it crushed me Swept it under the rug, started smoking weed and popping acid But managed to not do the uglier drugs We grew apart after my grandmother died Homeless, in and out of jail, we stopped relating to each other's lives But years later, we connected once again Not just as nephew and uncle, but as homies, we were friends Though I've grown up, I'm still heartbroken, aching to cry Hoping you're the one holding open those gates when I die [Chorus: Tia Thomas] My guardian angel flies, these tears I cry Asking for mercy Oh, it hurts so deep inside, but I hear your cries Asking for mercy