Song Meaning

Holly Near's "How Was I To Know" isn't just a love song; it's a deeply layered exploration of inherited experience and the surprise of genuine connection. The core question posed by the lyrics is not naivete, but rather a reflection on how our upbringing shapes our expectations – or lack thereof – when it comes to love and intimacy. Near uses the refrain "How was I to know..." to highlight the unexpected nature of a love that transcends her learned understanding of the world. The speaker acknowledges her familiarity with powerful forces: words, fire, crashing, and steam, all tied to her parent's professions. Yet, despite this inherent knowledge, she is still taken by surprise by the intensity of the emotions she experiences. The brilliance of the song lies in the juxtaposition of the expected and the unexpected. As a "poet's daughter," words should hold no mystery, yet they are now "rubies." As a "candlemaker's daughter," fire is commonplace, but the "glow" ignited by this new love is extraordinary. Likewise, the pilot's daughter is accustomed to crashes, but not the exhilarating, perhaps even disruptive, impact this person has on her mind. Finally, as a "boilermaker's daughter," she understands the power of steam, but the "night of wonder" left on her dreams is a unique, transformative experience. Each verse builds upon this tension, suggesting that while we may inherit certain predispositions, love has the capacity to shatter those pre-conceived notions. Ultimately, "How Was I To Know" is a celebration of vulnerability and the power of love to transcend even the deepest-seated expectations. The song doesn't suggest ignorance, but rather an openness to experience emotions in a way that defies logical explanation. It's an ode to the unpredictable nature of the human heart and its capacity to be moved, surprised, and transformed, regardless of our past experiences. The song suggests that our inherited traits do not fully determine our lives, and that profound and transformative love can still catch us off guard, even when we believe we've seen it all before.