This Year

Lyrics

[Intro: Suffa] Just give me one more minute One more I'm nearly finished Cheah [Verse 1: Suffa] I do not feel nada - Gucci, Louis, Prada Nothing I could buy to find the feeling that I'm after Back when I was younger, happiness came easy Now that I am older, I'm a different species And I'm so embarrassed that I feel so rotten Some people have real problems, and I feel I'm not them If I can't be happy when everything is perfect I think I must be damaged or do not deservе it Underneath the surfacе, feel my blood is rushin' And I'm feeling nervous that I'm feeling nothin' But I'm kind of bluffin' about me feeling nothin' I am feeling worried that I am not feeling somethin' Everything is stressful, but nothing is important Find I can't successfully hold on to a thought, but If that thought's a worry, I hold it like it love me A bear hug to crush me, and then it corrupts me But you know [Chorus: Suffa] This here is my year This here is my year This, this, this here is my year This here is my year This here's my year, this year, yeah This here's my year, this year, go This here's my year, this year, yeah A-yo [Verse 2: Suffa] Listen It's not like I'm in Mexico sitting in a cabana But the Lexapro's kicking in, ta-dah Got my iPhone acting like a night light Feelings are killer, wishing I was Mr Brightside But I'm Mr Why Try? Sitting on the sideline (Yo) I go missing, bye-bye, like some shitty wi-fi (Go) Opening wounds have me looking for a quiet high Take nine shots, get some dopamine or die trying When I try some quiet time, ends in an outburst Live in your head, can't forget to do the housework It's all about the upkeep, but I cannot keep up Seems the voices in my head need to speak up Maybe I need church? Or maybe mosque or temple? Somewhere I can learn to treat myself more gentle Wake up in the morning, got some hurt that I'm workin' on through God, I got me journaling to do, and it sound like [Chorus: Suffa] This here is my year This, this, this here is my year This here is my year This here is my year This here's my year, this year, yeah This here's my year, this year, go This here's my year, this year, yeah A-yo [Verse 3: Suffa] Look, man, look, man They don't call me Suffa for nothing, don't push, man I'm close to the edge like I'm Bono In slo-mo, or feelin' stuck in time like a photo The days are long, but years are short But I'm staying strong to clear my thoughts 'Cause I don't want to hurt myself no more Or pick at the skin until it's thin and so raw The medication put the weight on But it's nothing I can't take on to take off Had a revelation, something I can pray on I'm late on the self-love, and due for a day off And what they say of me's that I'm hard work But I'm working hard on my hurt and my heart now And the hard work is something I can't shirk 'Cause I know that pain is a burden you pass down