Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of someone grappling with the aftermath of a relationship, trying to convince themselves they've moved on. The opening lines, "When I fall asleep at night / I end up thinking a lot," establish a restless, introspective mood. The narrator claims, "Tears come but I don't cry / It turned out as I wished, I don't lie," suggesting a forced stoicism and a denial of lingering pain, a facade of control over their emotions.
However, this assertion of indifference is immediately undercut by the plea, "Why you keep / Kissing me?" and the lingering question about the scent of the other person, "How is your scent / Still so beautiful?" This reveals a deep-seated attachment that contradicts the stated desire to forget. The chorus hammers this tension home: "I think I know the way to not love you / Now I think I know, even if I know / I think I'll pretend not to know the way to not love you." This cyclical thought process highlights the internal conflict between the desire to be free and the inability to truly let go.
GIRIBOY's verse introduces a more cynical perspective, admitting to habitual lying and dismissing apologies. He contrasts his supposed busyness with frequent social outings, revealing a pattern of avoidance and dishonesty. The line, "I was glad we broke up / I played all day," initially sounds like liberation, but it quickly devolves into self-deception. He confesses, "I turned off my phone / I was sick of the calls asking me to come back / Always repeating love," suggesting the breakup was more a desperate escape than a genuine desire for separation.
The most striking aspect is the self-awareness of their own deceit. GIRIBOY admits, "I deceived even myself, a very despicable guy." He acknowledges the beauty of their shared past but chooses to recall only the negative aspects to justify his actions. The bridge offers a poignant wish: "I wish I had the heart from before I knew you / I wish I was living in the world before I knew you." This yearning for a state of innocence, before the complexities and pain of this love, underscores the profound impact the relationship has had, leaving the narrator trapped in a cycle of denial and regret.
